Leadership

It's a rainy day Monday, and I have two papers to write before class on Wednesday. It is quiet in the house with just the sound of rain lightly hitting the roof, and oh yeah, the dreadful sound of the washing machine. Monday's are always laundry day. And I am going to take the time to bore you with my leadership research.....HA! Lucky you!

I have a portfolio project to complete for my leadership class, and I thought it would be helpful if I get some of my thoughts down on paper the computer screen to help me along. My portfolio consists of a view of one book by a leader or about a leader (due 4 pages), a review of at least one article dealing with leadership (due 4 pages), a short discussion of a leadership story (due 2 pages), (and I already know who I'm going to include in this one. He doesn't know it yet, but my minister is going to help me with this one. He has an awesome leadership story.), a discussion of one or two metaphors which guide, enhance, or illuminate my thinking on leaders, their missions, and their relations to their followers (due 2 pages). Looks like I have my hands full, huh?

What is the true definition of leadership? Leadership is a process whereby an individual influences a group of individuals to achieve a common goal.

One of my all time favorite leaders is Martin Luther King Jr. He definitely had an impact and strong influence on our American history, and leading us to where we are today. What a strong man he was, and he carried the four factors of leadership proudly and strongly:

Leader - A person that has a strong understanding of who they are, what they know, and what they can do. A true leader, to be successful, has to convince their followers, not themselves, that they are worthy of being followed.

Followers - Different people, or groups require different styles of leadership. A good strong leader will know their followers. They will know their human nature, such as needs, emotions, and motivation.

Communication - A dedicated leader will never communicate, or ask their audience to perform anything that he/she would not be willing to do themselves.

Situation - A leader will know the difference between one situation to another. There will never be two situations that require the same approach.

Martin Luther King Jr. surly matched the process of great leadership. He challenged the process for the civil rights of his race. He inspired a shared vision, "I have a dream". He also enabled others to act by giving his followers the tools and methods to solve a problem (civil rights movement). He modeled the way by getting his own hands dirty and showing his followers what can be done. And last but not least, he encouraged the heart by sharing the glory with his followers, while keeping the pains within his own heart.

And did he do this all for himself? Heavens no! He did all this for his people, his followers, his audience. He gave his life for his beliefs and inspiration. But he was also rewarded for being such a great leader. He was awarded five honorary degrees; was named man of the year in 1963; and became not only the symbolic leader of American blacks, but also a world figure. He was the youngest man to have received the Nobel Peace Prize, and what did he do with the winnings? He handed over $54,123 to the furtherance of the civil rights movement. In 1968 all this greatness came to an end....He was assassinated while standing on the balcony of his Tennessee hotel room. Which leads to another situation for great leaders to hold in their hearts, they have to face the fact that some people may feel threatened, envious, jealous, and hatred for what a great leader is trying to accomplish. It is sad that some people are affected that way.....

A person does not become a leader overnight, or as the saying goes, "He/she was born a leader". Just so you know, that saying is rubbish, not true, garbage, and can be wiped from any book that it appears in. It takes hard work to become a dependable, trustworthy, and courageous leader.

I have dipped my hands into writing because all the thoughts in my head are just piling up, and piling up, and piling up.....

I take notes (carry around a notebook everywhere I go) to relieve the build-up in my brain. During church service on Sunday the sermon was about leadership. HA!! Go figure! Something that I need information on to complete my portfolio for school. I whipped out my trusty note taking pencil and thought catching notebook, and I started writing.....

What did my thoughts snag catch Sunday morning?

I am just going to transfer everything from my notebook to this piece of paper computer screen. That way you will get a good view of my thought process and how my brain actually works.

Leadership doesn't mean anything unless the leader puts forth love and caring for everyone. If a leader leads for show or money, their skills don't mean anything. Some leaders want to compete (the American way, right?), and that brings forth an image problem where the leader feels and acts superior. Our society has taught us how to compete (it only matters if you win, it doesn't matter if you step on people to get there, and greed).

And oh how we judge people.....is that habit, ignorance, what we've been taught, or is it just a way of our American selfish behavior?

A person that judges others spends so much time worrying about what others are doing, that they don't notice the ignorance they are creating for themselves. People control the way they act, we control what we do and say, and there is a heart within every person that we are quick to judge.

Are you a servant or a selfish know-it-all that can only see what is best for yourself? To be a strong servant (leader), you serve yourself appropriately and others faithfully. Serve, don't judge!

A true leader serves with a whole warm heart!

Hugs for Always,

Angie

Excuses are BS!

Making excuses is a bunch of bull$&#% BS. But you know what? I would be lying if I said that I never make excuses. I make excuses all the time when it comes to my health, choice of foods, and constructing my time. Oh, I am bad with time......I really need to find a way to correct that, and you know what excuse I use when my time is on the line? I don't have a smart phone. Yup, I am going to blame technology. Makes me look good anyway, right? WRONG! How many of you use that same excuse when you have made a commitment and don't really want to fulfill it? It's technology's fault.

"If I had a smart phone I would be able to schedule my time, appointments, work load, and even food intake. I'm sure there is an app for that....."

If you think about it, excuses were being made since the beginning of time. Excuses go all the way back to the Garden of Eden. God asked Adam if he had eaten of the tree he was commanded not to, Adam created the world's very first excuse, "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat" (Genesis 3:12). And when God asked Eve what she had done, she gave the world's second excuse, "The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat" (Genesis 3:13).

Excuses negate responsibility, and it is responsibility that separates man from the rest of the world. We are responsible not for what we have, but for what we could have; not for what we are, but for what we could become. Trying to hide our failures with excuses is like hiding a small hole in our clothes with a large patch; the patch is clearly noticeable, draws attention, and only makes matters worse.

Benjamin Franklin once said, "He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else."

And Shakespeare: "And oftentimes, excusing of a fault,

Doth make a fault the worse by the excuse;

As patches set upon a little breach,

Discredit more in hiding of the fault,

Than did the fault before it was so patch'd"

Excuses are harmful because they forbid one from succeeding.

If we discipline ourselves to NOT make excuses and compassionately hug responsibility, we will harvest many rewards. What are the successes of NOT making excuses? We build a strong foundation of self-respect, pride, and confidence. Responsibility grows competence and power. By fulfilling our promises and obligations, we win the trust and respect of others. Excuses are the brake pads of progress.

Food intake and choices seem to be a tough responsibility for some people to deal with. One of my pet peeves is when someone says, "I can't eat healthy because it is so expensive", or "I am on a fixed income so I can't afford to buy healthy foods." Now, to me, that is BS..... an excuse....a large patch.... There might as well be a sticker on your forehead that says "I am a failure and I hide behind my excuses".

I am attending a health and fitness class at school. My excuse for being overweight is, "I have a hard time keeping a schedule." .....BS.....FAILURE.....LARGE PATCH.....LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY.....STICKER ON MY FOREHEAD......

I would do so much better if I had a schedule trainer follow me around constantly saying, "It is now time to eat fruit, it is now time to run on the elliptical, it is now time to go for a walk, it is now time to do homework, it is now time to do volunteer work, it is now time to eat a healthy dinner, it is now time to spend with family, it is now time to sleep"......and so on.... I know I would be able to make it work if I had a trainer. Bull$&#%!! BS!! I need to take responsibility and create my own structured schedule. AND STICK TO IT!

But anyway, back to the pet peeve of not being able to eat healthy. Every single grocery store runs a sale ad. That is how they get customers into their store. And their sale items consist of sales out of every department (produce, meats, frozen foods, dairy, etc...). This is how I fulfill my needs of eating healthy: I work from the sale ad only. Sure I may not be hungry for the items that are on sale, but I adjust. I adjust to the foods, I don't let the foods adjust me. And something else that restricts people from eating healthy, the time it takes to cook or prepare meals. Quick-fix foods are so much easier and faster.....or is that an excuse?

I was at the grocery store just yesterday and bought cabbage, grapes, avocados, celery, lean pork products, and some raviolis (for the daughter) for less than $65.00. I bought enough healthy food to feed us (3) for a week. Less than $65.00 cannot be met on a fixed income? If you want to make it happen, you will find a way (responsibility).

I ran across a list of "how to stop making excuses and start building a life", and there is a cute little garden that goes along with it.

1. Realize that your success or failure depends on you. The choices you make will strengthen your attitude. Don't spend so much time on creating an excuse, spend that time creating responsibility for yourself.

2. Beware of rationalization. Sometimes we create excuses to hide the behavior we are ashamed of (being overweight). You can fight rationalization by creating a list to strengthen your weaknesses. An, "I am not going to do this anymore list", and check them off as you complete them. Before you know it, you won't need that list anymore because your changes will become habit. Instead of heading to the freezer section of the grocery store, spend about 30 minutes in the produce department. Discipline yourself!

3. From time to time, stop and examine your progress. Set goals for yourself. Make a list of goals, say for a week or a month, complete those goals and review them. Maybe at the end of a week or month you can increase the goals. Even if it takes baby steps, goals are good.

My goals that I created for myself are, 1. eating breakfast every day. I'm not a breakfast eater, but breakfast is the most important meal of the day, whether it be 1 egg, a sugar free muffin, or a small bowl of cereal. 2. I am also running (walking) 20 minutes a day on the elliptical. I plan on increasing that after a month. Baby steps.....

4. When you make a mistake, accept responsibility. Learn from that mistake, get back on that horse, and don't repeat it. Use your time wisely, discover solutions instead of inventing excuses.

5. Plant your garden of success! Start today!

First, plant 3 rows of peas;
Patience
Positive thinking
Persistence

Next, plant 3 rows of squash;
Squash excuses
Squash blame
Squash criticism

Then, plant 3 rows of lettuce;
Let us be responsible
Let us be trustworthy
Let us be ambitious

Finish, with 3 rows of turnip;
Turn up when needed
Turn up with a smile
Turn up with confidence

Are you going to plant your garden today?

A Big Fat "F"

A big fat "F"......

And that is exactly what I looked like when I was handed back my quiz in my accounting class. I think I blacked out for at least thirty minutes (or more), didn't know where I was at (room started spinning), and when I came to, I was in need of a toilet really bad because I felt like I was going to PUKE.

If I would have placed this scenario back 26 years ago, when I was in high school.... failing grades were cool, that's how you became popular, of course I would have been okay. I would have smirked at the teacher and had a proud simper look on my face. But I'm 43 years old, trying to better my life, stuff my brain full of education (overload), and every waking minute is spent on schoolwork.....An "F" is completely unacceptable!

I pulled myself together to make it through the four hours of class, mentally yelling at myself for being so stupid, imagined punching myself really hard, and forced thoughts of good things into my head (rainbows, butterflies, what's for dinner, monkeys at the zoo, etc....) so I wouldn't break down in tears and look even more stupid. But when class was over and I (sprinted) got in the car alone.....Oh buddy! The waterworks started! I have at least a 20 minute drive home, so I thought that would give me enough time to feel sorry for myself. I could have a good cry, pat myself on the back and say, "It will be okay. You have plenty of time to pull this "F" up. Get it together Angie!! You are making stupid silly mistakes and not putting your "ALL" into it. You just aren't concentrating hard enough."

After my pep talk with myself, I felt better (a little). I can now return home and no one will ever know I was crying (over spilt milk).

"Big Girls Don't Cry".....Do you remember that song by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons? Yeah, even when it came on the radio during the drive home, it didn't make me feel any better. Actually it made me even more angry, and that's when I reached down and tore off the radio knob.....SHUT THE HELL UP!! "You have no idea what I am going through right now Frankie, and I don't need your mushy support."

I wiped my tears at a stop sign about five minutes away from my house, fixed my make-up, took some deep breaths, thought of monkeys at the zoo again, and when I pulled in the driveway I had everything under control (so I thought). But guess who was standing at the door? Yup, the person that supports me the most, the love of my life, my equal half, and the one that turned on the waterworks again (dang it!). All I had to do was look at him and I instantly started crying.....AGAIN! Another big fat failure in a single day. I am suppose to be the strong one, I am suppose to be the supporter, and I am older so I have to fulfill stability. OMG!! What a big fat cry baby I am.....

But you know what? I did some research today on crying, and according to doctors, crying is healthy. It is an emotional perspiration of the body. Given the fact that I sweat often (don't forget I'm 43), I suppose it makes sense that I'm a crier. And after my research, I don't have to feel bad about it, because after a good cry, I always feel cleansed, ignoring the swollen eyes, broken heart feeling, and fighting to stop the tears. I always feel like my heart and mind have connected and rubbed together like my first cup of coffee and cream at the start of each new day. Crying makes me feel renewed, refreshed, and gives me a start-over point. Even though I look like crap afterward.

Here are seven ways (according to doctors) tears, or crying heal us physiologically, psychologically, and spiritually.

1. Tears help us to see. Literally. Tears not only act as a lubricant for the eyeball, they also prevent dehydration of our mucous membranes. No lubrication = no eyesight.

2. Tears are our own built in waterless antibacterial solution. Cry a few tears and there is no need for liquid antibacterial soaps. Catch your tears and you are all set to fight off germs. So, the next time you go shopping, think about the money you are spending, cry while making your food or item choices, wash your hands with tears, and there is no worries about the germs that were left on that shopping cart.

3. Crying and tears have been researched for as long as I have been searching for sanity, and that is a long time.....But it has been found that emotional tears (distress or grief = a big fat "F") contains more toxic byproducts than tears of irritation (onion peeling or poking yourself in the eye with a mascara brush). Now that doesn't mean that tears are toxic themselves, it means that tears remove toxins from our bodies. Tears are like a natural massage that has no cost. So, that big fat "F" gave me the best massage I have ever had.

4. You know, all those feelings that live rent free inside your head (anxiety, fatigue, aggression, nervousness, etc....)? Crying releases them feelings to move out of your head. The stress you feel is your manganese level. When that level is lower, you are more healthy (so go ahead and cry). Pack your bags manganese level I am kicking you(r) ass out.

5. It is true, tears are really a form of body perspiration. Do you feel better after you exercise and sweat (lookie there, now I know why I don't exercise, I cry all the time)? Well, a good cry does the same thing. Tears remove some of the chemicals built up in the body from stress. I must have been really stressed out because I sweated tears for one whole evening.....If you hold back your tears that is when stress levels will contribute to high blood pressure, heart problems, and peptic ulcers. After my hours of crying, I am now stress free....YIPPIE!

6. Tears help communication and foster community. What? If someone is concerned about my tears, does that mean I have to invite them to dinner? Does that mean we have joined together in a tight community? No, help in communication and fostering community simply means that the people that matter most in your life are there to support you. Tears strengthen relationships. Right Sean? And you better agree, because you made me feel better when I pulled in the driveway crying like a big fat failure.

7. If you let conflicts and resentments build up inside you, they gather in the limbic system of the brain. Crying lets the devils out before they wreak havoc with the nervous and cardiovascular systems. It is true, all human feelings need to be felt, but it helps when we are able to throw fits, sob and cry, perspire (tears), and tremble.

Go ahead, it is healthy to cry, and you can leave the rainbows and monkeys out of it.....Just let the tears flow, wash your hands, make new friends, and relieve some of that stress.

Hugs for Always,

Angie

Fixing Things and Being Single

Last Sunday I volunteered to help my church make apple dumplings, a whole 900 of them. The fellowship hall was set up with assembly line tables like the inside of a make-shift factory. We had peeler stations, dough roller stations, and a package and labeling department, but that is not what I'm writing about today.

While at one of the apple dumpling assembly line tables, I was asked a question that really hit my heart, and caused me to ask myself, "How did I survive?"

The question was, "How old were you Angie when you lost your dad?" I had just celebrated my 18th birthday.

Have I missed my dad through my adult life? You bet'cha. But I think I inherited his strength, and that is what keeps me going.

My dad was the fix-it type. Whenever there was a problem he would fix it. "I will fix it", no matter if it was a broken heart or a car. My dad loved to fix up old cars. He fixed up an old '57 Chevy and drove it in drag races, which attracted all the teenage boys in the area (lucky me!). He also fixed up an old 1970 Chevy Camaro that he gave to me for my first car (AKA: The Bondo Buggy) . Let me tell ya, driving around a sporty Camaro in the late 1980's, I was a style'n teenager......And it went perfect with my concert T-shirts and Levi jeans (a rebel).

But when I was a teenager I broke my dad's heart, and I couldn't fix it.....At the early age of 17 I found out I was pregnant. I think what broke his heart the most was, he didn't know how to fix it either. About 6 months out of the 9 before my baby's birth, my dad and I lost communication. He made it very obvious that I had disappointed him. But the closer I got to my due date, he could no longer hide his excitement. He was going to be a grandpa for the first time. We spent the last month contemplating on a boy or girl. And we both wanted a girl badly (Cassie).

While I was in the delivery room, my dad called me on the phone, I think, demanding to talk to me, because the nursing staff brought me the phone during my delivery. My dad got to hear his granddaughter's first cries through the phone. "We have our Cassie, Dad!"

Then shortly after Cassie was born, my dad got very sick. He was diagnosed with bone cancer, and he was in the last stages when the doctors found it. He didn't even know he was sick.

From the moment I brought Cassie home, till his last breath, they were inseparable. He took her everywhere, even to the drag races when she was two weeks old.

We sat up a playpen in his hospital room just so Cassie could be near him.

Six months after Cassie was born my dad passed away with bone cancer.

This is Cassie, and this is where my strength begins.....

I live in a small community, and you know how small communities work, right? Gossip, gossip, gossip....There was a lot of talk about me not being a good mother, and Cassie would grow up being nothing but trouble. I just love my supportive community.....(that was sarcasm if you couldn't tell).

I call Cassie my gift from God, because if she had not been born, my dad would not have had the opportunity to see, feel, and spend time with his first grandchild.

I started my child raising journey single until Cassie was 5, married for 7 years, married again for 3, and have been in and out of relationships ever since. But my children have always been placed first. If they were being mistreated, abused, or experiencing a broken heart, "I fixed it".

I think that is part of the reason why I chose to be single through most of my adult life. I fix things best on my own.

There are some benefits to being a single parent.

Even though the responsibility was overwhelming at times (lack of sleep, lack of income, and lack of energy), I made it through. And my benefits were:

I got to make all the decisions in the home without compromising with a partner.

I got breaks when the kids would visit their dad (spent the entire time sleeping though).

I got to bond with my children without interference. If I chose to play with my kids all evening I didn't have someone complaining about time not being spent with them.

I developed more confidence in myself. I learned to make decisions on my own, solve problems, and I didn't need to rely on someone else to help me.

I had more control in child rearing. I was the one there for my children day-in and day-out influencing them. Just me!

My home was stress free (no arguing, fighting, or complaining).

I didn't have to take time caring for another adult (making sure they remain happy).

It gave my children opportunities to develop responsibility. My children felt like partners in the home instead of "just the kids".

And my children and I learned resiliency. The ability to "bounce back" when negative things happen.

The last two items on this list were positives for Cassie. She is the strongest young adult I know. She has two children, attends school, and works a full-time job (40 - 60 hours a week). She has gone through many negatives in her adult life so far, and she always bounces back.

This is Logan. He is a thinker, fixer, and my best food critic. He also inherited my dad's personality, which I think is awesome.

One thing that stands out in my mind with Logan, and I know my parenting techniques worked, is I approached him with a question one day, "Do you think I did a good job teaching you religion while you were growing up?"

His response made me crumble. This is what he said, "PHSSST.....No!" (I always had my children involved in the church).

After I pulled myself together, picked my heart up off the floor, took my hand and forcefully closed my mouth that had shot open from his response, I asked him, "What do you mean?"

He said, "Mom, no one knows everything about religion, and there is no way you could possibly teach me about it. I have my own understanding of religion. It doesn't have anything to do with you. The one thing you did though, you taught me to believe."

Oh, thank the Lord!! My son is so smart.....

Now onto Randi. She has grown up, her teenage years, in the tech world. I have to compete with technology which makes things a little more difficult. I still enforce dinner around the table (communication) without cell phones, and computers.

Randi has always been a clinger. And she makes it very clear that I am her idol, which is almost frightening. She has a hard time doing things on her own. But one thing she's really good at is, she thinks through a situation before acting or making a decision. She is constantly trying to direct her friends on what is right and wrong. She doesn't give in to peer pressure, which makes me think that she will continue my strength.

Those are my children, and my parenting job is almost complete. And do you think I can sleep now that I have the opportunity? Heavens no! Since I am getting older and my kids have grown up I don't need much sleep. I don't have to deal with the hustle and bustle of worrying about my children, making sure they stay out of trouble, and directing them. They are pretty much on their own now with hopes that they have learned something from me.

My parenting technique throughout their lives have been, mutual respect (manners and respect for each other and elders), truly listen (putting aside my own thoughts and beliefs to try and see my child's point of view), and giving direction (brief with ideas in only a few sentences instead of lecturing. I gave my children plenty of room to give direction to themselves).

Now onto my grandchildren.....This is Lydia, and she is smart as a whip. She also likes babies and pretty things.

Asthon, he's into boxing and karate. He has had a rough beginning, but I can only hope and pray that his mother (Cassie) influences him with her own parenting techniques. Cassie is doing a great job so far. I'm not one of those grandma's that is laden with worry.

Based on your experiences with your own children, what is the best advice that you could give about raising children?

Hugs for Always,

Angie

Road Rage

I have got some serious road rage going on here lately.

I drive 17 miles, the same route, at least 4 times a week, sometimes 5 times depending on my school schedule.

If there is no road sign or markings on the road that says you can pull up on my right side to make a right hand turn, then why are you there? You are blocking my view of traffic where I need to see to cross the road. So, since you are in a hurry, and I just might be in a hurry too....I have to sit and wait for you to move so my view of traffic is clear. UGH!!! Sometimes I just want to get out of my car and yell, scream, stomp around, and punch these people that think they own the road.

Last week I was sitting at a stop sign waiting to cross traffic. A huge 4-wheel drive truck pulled up on my right side to make a right hand turn (no markings or sign saying that he can do that, or be there). He was in such a hurry that he didn't even stop, he just followed on through with his bossy, ignorant way of driving. Since he was in such a hurry he pulled out in front of an on-coming car. He almost caused an accident. While all this time I am still sitting at the stop sign waiting to cross the road. And I can't see a thing with huge monster vehicles getting in my way.....So, this means my timed road trip is not as important as the, so they think, owners of the road. I will just sit and wait for ignorance to clear out of my way.

To solve this problem I have given thought to hugging the median on the right side of the road when I come to a stop sign. Do you think others will experience road rage if I do that? If I get in the way of their hurriedness (is that a word?)?

But when I sit and think about this road rage feeling, I ask myself, "why" am I getting so angry? Because when I stop and think about the whole situation, when I have to sit at the stop sign and wait for these people (crazy drivers) to get out of my way, I have plenty of time to say a prayer for these people.

"Dear Lord, please watch over these people on the road that are in a hurry. Keep them safe today, and please don't let them make any more people mad."

I'd say I am using my time wisely and sustaining my anger.

Anger is an ugly thing. If you let it, it will control your life like a hungry beast stalking its prey. But what is anger really? I think anger is a form of sadness, a form that wants to come alive and take over your thoughts, body, and way of living. It wants to make you miserable. It wants to win. It wants all the glory. It wants to feed on you.

Could anger really be the desperate need to reach out for love?

Okay, my road rage is a form, a feeling, a thought process that has to be dealt with. Since I know I am loved, I don't really let this road rage anger eat me up. I take a moment to really feel and discern the feelings of anger. That is why I say a prayer while I'm sitting at the stop sign, and deep breathing while chanting "gooosseeeee-frabbba" seems to work too.

To fully understand your anger feelings, ask yourself some questions:

What is it that you are really mad about?

Is it worth the effort to feed that beast?

What is making you sad today?

Now that you know the answers. How do you change your feelings? Look at your anger as a request, or desire for love. If you request love, you can give love. It's kind of like the domino affect. How you react to something is going to affect the outcome of your entire day. If you start the day angry, you will end the day angry. If you start the day with love, you end the day with love. Pretty simple solution, huh? And it does work, believe me. I would be angry every day if I held a grudge against those crazy drivers. But I see their actions and their call for love, a call for attention. So I say a prayer for them and send them on their way. I complete my day with love....

Love your wrath....use it for energy to positively change your day. To ensure a good domino affect for the ending of the day. Turn your anger into love.

If you're angry today, you can vent here. Tell me what is making you angry and how you correct, or diminish that feeling.

Hugs for Always,

Angie

Stillness

As I am typing this post the thoughts of mounds of homework, mounds of laundry, and mounds of house cleaning pass through my mind.

But right at this hour, this moment, this second, you are more important.

Today I would like to talk about STILLNESS.

How do you still yourself?

What kind of mirror image do you see?

How important is that image?

The last thing I wanted for this blog is to have it be about me. But to get my messages across to you loving and wonderful people out there in the cyber world, I have to use examples of what (life lessons, life happenings, feelings, etc...) has gotten me to where I am today. I do not want you to think I'm self-centered, and there may be some experiences of mine that match yours.

How do you still yourself? How do you reach down and find your inner self, your inner strength, the sincere you?

Are you one that likes to sit in nature, breath deep the air of seasonal scents? What about yoga? Yoga can be very relaxing and mind stimulating. Or maybe you are one that likes to remain in the hustle and bustle of this busy world and visit a public massage parlor. Whatever technique works for you is what's best for you. Finding our inner selves is very important. We should be able to listen to our own advise, knowing it's the best advise, instead of running to others for opinions and direction. And I'm not going to lie....I have not found my full inner self yet, but I am getting there. I still have doubts and feelings of insecurity where I seek direction and advise. But that feeling is getting smaller. I am becoming bigger, stronger, and I tend to rely on my own advise and direction, knowing that my own advise is solid.

What works for me is: I wait for complete darkness, draw myself a bubble bath, light candles, and just relax. I allow my mind to clear so I can reach deep into my inner thoughts. I can see clearly my own good advise on moving forward, where I want to be, and how I'm going to get there. I am my best critic.....WE are our best critics.

The experiences I have faced in my life have forced me to get in touch with my inner self. Figure out why I'm here, what my purpose is, what my passion is, and knowing the difference.

Two years ago I lost my job of 22 years. My life crumbled right before my eyes. The company I worked for decided to take their facility over seas. I was stuck in the routine of the working world. Go to work, take care of my family, take care of my home, be dependent on money, etc... I was going through life like a robot. Doing the same things over, and over, and over....

Since I am an observant person to what is going on around me, I noticed the downfall in the company almost a year before it actually closed. Sure, the loss of my job affected me emotionally, and I spent a couple months feeling sorry for myself, and did a lot of crying. But I pulled myself up out of the ashes of doom and I placed myself in school. I have been attending college for the last three years. With my job going over seas, I was awarded an education program called the TAA (Trade Adjustment Act). While the TAA is a government program, I am not allowed to work. I have taken full advantage of this opportunity to clear my path and begin fresh. I also do tons of volunteer work. If I keep myself busy I don't have time to dwell on the past or make myself depressed.

It's funny how things happen....Sure, I was scared when my job ended, but this change in my life is what has helped me find my inner self and my inner passion. The one that has been dying to break free for years. If you don't follow your passion you are truly missing out on something wonderful.

My passion is to publicly write, and look, I am doing it. I am fulfilling my inner self, my authentic self, even if no one reads it.... I'm not making any money, but my self-worth is being found. My self-worth is being powered by the inner me, the sincere me, the thoughtful me....

Following a passion - Even if you can't make a living at following your passion, you are fulfilling your self worth. You are able to express yourself and portray the importance of why you are here on earth.

My passion gives me a feeling of being free, it is meaningful to me, and I am expressing myself in the way that it suits me. The way that it makes me feel happy.

What kind of mirror image do you see? What is your shadow image like?

Fear is a normal shadow image for almost everyone, I think. The way the economy is today I think would scare the be-Jesus out of anyone, but when we stay true to ourselves we should be able to overcome that fear.

My shadow image, the one that keeps following me around and is being a real pain in the butt, is the fear of not achieving good grade marks. When my marks aren't good I feel like a failure. But that is my own ego/anger issue that I have to deal with. My ego/anger is the emotion that I need to control, just as well as you will have to when you find the inner you.

I also fear the thought of my schooling coming to an end (next May). Education has become an addiction for me, and I'm afraid when it's all over I will fall right back into that robot way of living. I'm afraid to cut that cord because I fear I will lose my inner self, my authentic self, and my passion.

Therefore, since I have found it, I need to keep it.

How important is your inner image?

Stimulate yourself and give thought to a new way of experiencing your life and your self-worth. Dig deep and find the hidden you, the one that you know is there, the one that heeds your passions. That person is there, believe me. Do you really want to live a robot life without expressing yourself? Wouldn't you rather enjoy the journey of life instead of racing to the end?

Life is a journey, not a race. Enjoy it, live it, breathe it, and fulfill it. You were placed on this earth for a reason. Find your passion and let it loose.

Enjoy the journey of your life, not the desperate need to finish....

Hugs for Always,

Angie

Changing Seasons

Have you ever sat outside on a quiet fall evening and listened to the leaves fall?

They sound like popcorn popping on mute. You can actually hear them pop and leave their branch of security. Then they slowly float to the ground sounding as if you have just dropped a piece of paper. The sounds of Autumn are so fulfilling and relaxing, but it also means that the seasons are changing. Our surroundings are quickly becoming different, transforming, and creating a new view, perspective, and adjusting or demanding us to prepare for the upcoming varied weather.

Changing seasons brings my thoughts to children. Children, teens, and young adults are so much like the falling leaves. They are changing and growing while preparing themselves to leave their branch of security.

As parents, we should make sure they have a safe landing, like paper or leaves floating to the ground.

My heart is saddened today, and I can't help but think about teenage suicide. It is weighing heavy on my heart, because just in the last couple weeks there have been three teenage deaths in my area. Why?

I read an article about teenage suicide this morning that ended with, "It's the economy, STUPID!!" But you know what? I disagree.

The hardest job in the world is being a parent, and I'm sure most of you will agree. Children need stability. They need to know that their parents are going to be there every day, protect them, encourage them, and listen to them. Teenagers may speak a different language than their parents, but is it really that hard to take the time to listen to what they have to say? To let them know that their voice, ideas, and insight are important? How is a child suppose to successfully change seasons if they are being ignored, pushed aside, or replaced with a parents own selfishness (there are things I want to do that are more important than dealing with a child)? Do you ignore the rain if your car window is down? Do you ignore the snow when it's ten feet deep? Do you ignore the leaves when they are drug through your front door? Of course not! So why do some parents chose to ignore their children? They are constantly changing.....

According to the Centers for Disease Control, teenage suicide is the third leading cause of death, behind accidents and homicide, of people aged 15 to 24. But even more disturbing is the fact that suicide is the fourth leading cause of death in children between the ages of 10 and 14. What a sad, sad statistic.

There are many factors that may lead a teenager to take his/her own life, but the most common is depression. When a teenager feels that they are trapped in a life that they can't handle, that is when the parents need to step in. We need to ease that pressure and help them deal with what they are feeling. Some teenagers strongly believe that suicide is the only way to solve their problems. The pressures of life seem to be too much for them to deal with. Instead of letting our teenagers welcome suicide, we as parents need to create a distraction.

A list of factors for suicide thoughts are (and I'm going to tell you how I distracted these factors in my own children). I'm not saying that I am the best parent in the world, because there is no such thing, and I know that. But these are my creations and what worked with my children:

Divorce of parents - My children went through this twice. Children notice change, but I remained focused on keeping my daily routine unchanged. I focused on my children's feelings and comforted them the best I knew how. When I divorced, the last thing I wanted for my kids was for them to be suitcase children. I never talked bad about their father in front of them, and I encouraged the same amount of love from both of us. I never showed feelings of insecurity to them. If I crumble, they will crumble....If I'm unhappy, they will be unhappy....etc....

Violence in the home - My children witnessed physical, mental, and verbal violence in the home. Children learn by example. Did I really want my children growing up thinking that violence is allowed in the home, or violence is the correct way to live? Of course not. That is why divorce was decided.

Inability to find success at school - Homework has always been top priority in the house. That provides and strengthens work ethics and time management ethics.

There is also the fear of bullying, not only by classmates, but also by peers (teachers, principles, etc...). I have made many, many trips into the school to show my children that they are protected by me. I never made a big scene, I kept things confidential, and I was very careful about classmates assuming, "Mommy always comes to the rescue." I didn't want to create more problems for my teens to deal with. But my teens always knew I was there for them. Did I ever let my kids fall on their own? Of course I did. How else will they learn responsibility? I always enforced, "If you get in trouble with the law, you are on your own." They knew that they would have to face the punishment they created. Mommy was not going to bail them out. My son learned that when he was a teenager, and it straightened him right up. There is just something about coming face-to-face with a sheriff.....

Feelings of worthlessness - This falls in with children feeling ignored. One thing I did while my children were growing up, and I was working 40 - 60 hours a week was, I provided stability in the home. I chose to work the night shift (for 17 years), and my thought process on that was, if they are sleeping they won't miss me. Did I create a hard life for myself? Sure I did.... My sleeping pattern consisted of sleeping while they were in school. I got up every day early enough to shower and start dinner before they walked in the door. We ate together at the dinner table every evening spending at least two hours together talking. And when I say talking, I don't mean me talking, I mean my children talking. They spent that time talking about what happened in school, how they have been feeling, and about what was going on in the world. I also encouraged open discussion. I left my children know that they could talk to me about anything they wanted to, and I would not judge, discourage, or interfere. There may have been some conversations that I didn't like, but as children change their thought process changes also. Thank God the baggy jeans and long T-shirts was just a phase..... I never forced my children to do things I wanted them to do, because that's the way I wanted them to be. I left my children's personalities develop on their own.

Some more factors that are listed are:

Substance abuse

Death of someone close to them

The suicide of a friend or someone he or she "knows" in person or online

I never faced the problem of my children experimenting with drugs or alcohol because that was always an open topic in my home. The outcomes, present visuals (being surrounded by drug users), and affects were clear for my children to see. Being dependent on a stimulant is not something they wanted to do or deal with.

With suicide being a recent topic (three deaths within the last couple weeks) it has been an open discussion with my 17 year old (the one child I have left at home). I have always told my children that they can be anything they want to be, do anything they want to do, but THEY have to make it happen. No one said that life is easy.

"These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Teenagers need their strength built up just as Jesus built up his disciples. He tied together words from John 14:27-29; 16:1-4; and 16:9-11. With these words He told His disciples to take courage. In spite of the inevitable struggles they would face, they would not be alone. Jesus does not abandon us to our struggles either. If we remember that the ultimate victory has already been won, we can claim the peace of Christ in the most troublesome times.

We should stand beside our teens and let them know that they are not alone in this world that has become such a struggle. And the "bad economy, stupid" should not get in the way. We should let them know that Christ (or any spiritual healing) is their strength along with their parents. I think we need to work a little harder at finding a solution to teenage suicides.

Children change like the seasons. Let's try and comfort their changes, secure a soft landing, and build encouragement in them. For Heaven's sake, they are our future......

Hugs for Always,

Angie

Interpritation

I have been giving a lot of thought to interpretation.

Almost everyone does not interpret things the exact same way. Just like the golfer had to question the invitation from his friend.

While in class last week, during a discussion about social networking, the instructor asked me how much time I spend on Facebook. My answer was, "About 4 in the morning and 4 in the evening". My classmates automatically assumed that I wake up at four in the morning to get on Facebook. I had to make myself clear that I meant 4 hours in the morning and 4 hours in the evening.

I went to church on Sunday, and low and behold, the sermon was on translation and interpretation. Oh, I was all ears during the sermon. (and how did you just interpret that last sentence?). Did you picture me covered in a bunch of ears?

Here's a good one.....

How do you interpret the letter language that is so commonly used today? WTF, LOL, OMG, LMAO, BBL, TTFN (that was created by Tigger), TTYL, BRB, and probably many more..... It took me forever to figure out what LOL stands for. Lots of love? Lots of lust? Lots of losers? Hummmm...What does it really mean? According to society, it means laugh out loud.

Do you place your own words with the letters, or do you go by the way others use them? The way others insist on using them? The way others SAY to use them?

And here's a thought to ponder....did you know that LOL and OMG are listed in the Merrium-Webster dictionary? They sure are....go look them up. I used the new online version.

So, why is it that when someone writes, texts, or verbally uses WTF it is always assumed to mean the "F" word? There are many words that can be put in place of that "F" - frick, frack, frig, frog, frank, etc....

OMG can be personally and independently interpreted the same way - "G" - gosh, golly, glory, goodness, gracious, etc...

How do you use and interpret the letter language?

I have been attending school since 2009, I find it very important to research and back my opinions and thoughts with facts. I am not going to write publicly and just spew a bunch of garbage out there. I am going to write what I feel, believe, and trust would be good inspirational messages, backed by facts.

Another good one.....

One of the biggest misinterpretations is scripture.

God's Word says: "....all scripture is given of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for REPROOF, for CORRECTION, for instruction...." II Timothy 3:16

Human nature does not like reproof or correction. No one likes being told that they are wrong. Some people spend most of their lives saying "They just don't get it. No matter how hard I try, they just don't get it...." That's because every single human being has their own thought process.

Having things go right, go well for ourselves in living is a good thing. It's usually what everyone wants. But, being naturally "carnal minded" (which is naturally rebellious to God - Romans 8:7)....Every single living breathing human has their own idea as to how to achieve it. No one likes to be told what to do or how to think....

School books are not misinterpreted. Why? When a school book is read it is taken at face value. We believe that what we are reading (to learn) is the truth. School books go from point A to point B very clearly. Where the Bible is choppy and sometimes says the same thing throughout but using different wording.

Misinterpretation of the Bible is mostly the reason for hundreds of denominations in Christianity. Professing all sorts of "beliefs". People usually believe what they are taught by someone else. More than likely parents, and their parents, and their parents, and so on....

I believe that unless a person has lived in Jesus' time, they do not know the truth. They can't possibly know the truth.

I interpret things the way I believe is right for me, and everyone else should do the same. Leaders, Ministers, and Counselors are amazing. But do they really know "the everything" about Jesus?

When I read scripture, I take in (inhale) what it means to me. How it makes my heart feel. That is how I live, that is how I believe, and that is how I direct my life. Interpretation is to each his/her own.....

No one should be forceful with their own beliefs. What they think is the truth.

God owns my glory, He owns my thoughts, He owns my writing, and He owns my interpretation. No one else does. I know what I need to give back, and I am satisfied with where I'm going and how I'm living my life.

People sometimes read a passage and think they know from it what the Bible says about whatever subject the passage spoke of. But, other passages elsewhere in the Bible speak of it too.....and they add information and insight and clarity to the subject that just one passage doesn't provide. That is where misinterpretation comes from. It can fool people and make them think they know what the Bible says when really, they don't.

If I write something that offends you, by all means, stop reading (you could also contact me too, LOL!!), (there's that letter language).

I have my own faith, and God is my owner.

I also frequently ask myself; "What kind of steward am I"? I, myself, me....will be held accountable for my thoughts, actions, and beliefs. I am using what God is allowing me to use.

Hugs for Always,

Angie

Capturing Beauty

Traci is having a blog hop about capturing beauty.

See her here.

The fall season is a perfect time to capture beauty. The colors are vibrant, time changes, and the vision is spiritual.

The finch is my favorite bird. They are so bright with color, and their song is absolutely beautiful. When I need an up-lift, a lightened heart, or encouragement, I listen to the finch....

Join Traci at her blog hop and capture your beauty.

See you there.....

Hugs for Always,

Angie

Strangers

Do you take the same route to work, school, appointments everyday?

Every time I drive to school I take the same route. I pass by these huge pots of flowers at least four times a week. Their beauty seizes me every time they come into my vision.

They are gorgeous. Definitely God's beauty captured.

And when the sun shines on them, they just take your breath away.....they look like great big pots of fire.

Every time I drive past this beauty I talk to myself.....Of course, I'm alone in the car so I can do that.

"I would really love to capture this gorgeous scene. I really want it to stand still. And I really want to share this serenity with others."

"Do I sneak a picture? Or do I go to the door and ask permission?"

Well, the right thing to do is ask for permission. So on my way home from school I stopped at a stranger's house to see if I could photograph the beauty that they created.

Very, very, very.... nice people. The man walked me to the flowers and told me all about them. He was actually proud that I had an interest in his flowers. I could definitely tell that this man was a people person, a loving person, a sharing person, a caring person.....

He removed the flower tag from the pot and handed it to me. These are Salvia, AKA: 'Bonfire'.

They grow 26" high.

Then in a proud voice he said, "They grew a lot higher than what the tag says."

I think, God knowing this man's love of nature, helped these flowers describe their owner. Beautiful!

You will see this man every winter sitting in a chair near the road dressed as Santa.....He waves at the kids as they go by. Now how much more dedicated love can you ask for?

In the Fall this house always has an ample supply of fall squash and pumpkins.

As I was leaving, he grabbed two butternut squash and placed them in my car.

Does this mean we are not strangers anymore?

Have I found a caring friend?

The butternut squash will be turned into pie and one will be delivered to my new found friends. My new found love supply.....The fuel that is going to get me through each school day just from driving past this love house.

"LOVE" is a word that is sadly misunderstood. I like the definition that Jesus gives in the Bible, "Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has not one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

Where does Christian love shine the most?

I believe that Christian love finds its most eminent expression in one's ability to love total strangers. Think about it....mission work....even though we harvest very few benefits from it. What benefit did this total stranger receive from me taking pictures of his flowers? No benefits....just bragging rights.

We shared Christian love.

This man represents Christian love through his display of beautiful flowers, appearing as Santa, and his giving of his harvest. This man is the true definition of "LOVE".

A total stranger that I can truly say I love. He is definitely doing God's work. Are you seeing his future benefit? He will be praised for what he is doing. He is definitely shining with eternal life.

"He was a good man, full of the Holy Spirit and faith, and a great number of people were brought to the Lord."

Acts 11:24

Hugs for Always,

Angie