It's been a long time folks.
Did you think I gave up on this blog?
One thing that you will find out about me, I am not a
quitter!
I have had a really stressful semester. In just 15 days I
will be able to put all this school stuff behind me. Don't get me wrong, I will
never forget it, and I will always apply what I have learned, but I am looking
forward to not having to think so hard. And knowing my luck, I will probably
land a job that requires mental application.....SHSHSH!! Did I just write that
out loud?
I came here today to vent. So, if you want to put up with me
for a few minutes, and maybe soothe my emotions, continue reading. If not, just
click that tiny X in the top right hand corner of your screen.
Have you ever been so humiliated, to the point where you
just can't face the people in front of you?
That is what I came here to pen about today.
Humiliation hurts!
Humiliation makes you feel singled out, insulted, ego
crushed, pride hurt, makes you feel powerless, diminished, and sometimes mad as
hell!
There are nine different definitions for humiliation. Did
you know that? Me either. But I am going to list them for you:
1. Feeling disrespected.
2. A loss of stature or image.
3. An image change reflecting a decrease in what others
believe about your stature.
4. Induced shame.
5. To reduce the pride or fail to recognize the dignity of
another.
6. An event perceived to cause loss of honor and induce
shame.
7. Feeling powerless.
8. Being unjustly forced into a degrading position.
9. Ridicule, scorn, contempt, or other treatment at the
hands of others.
That list pretty much covers all the feelings that a person
goes through when they have just been humiliated.
I don't feel the pangs of humiliation often, but when I do,
I feel like the walls close in to trap me, a huge spotlight has just been
single-shot directly on me, and when I look at the people in front of me they
are all laughing. All of those feelings, I'm sure, are just mind games that
increase the feeling of humiliation even more.
I was humiliated in speech class right before I was to
present my speech. Fighting the feelings of humiliation, finding the strength
to get through my speech, and telling myself that I'm a strong person just made
my self-esteem disintegrate. I made it half way through my speech, trying hard
to concentrate, stumbling over my notes, forgetting what I had to say, before I
broke down in tears and ran out of the classroom. And I was mad as hell!! My
professional instructor is purposefully affecting my grade because his teaching
technique causes humiliation, is what I was thinking.
But humiliation does not stand alone. Right beside humiliation
is shame. I now have to find the courage to return to that class and present my
final speech. Simply put, shame is private, where humiliation is public.
Humiliation is suffering and insult. If you judge the insult to be credible,
then you feel shame. A person only feels shame if their self-image is reduced;
and that requires a person's own assessment and decision. A person who is
insecure about their genuine stature is more prone to feeling shame as a result
of humiliation. Therefore, that is why I cried for three days straight. My
fragile self-esteem was bruised. I did everything in my power to get over the
shame feeling, and my eyes were so swollen that I couldn't even apply make-up.
Yup, I was mad as hell!
Thus, how do I resolve this humiliation and shame feeling?
Victims of humiliation may be able to achieve resolution through either of two
paths. The first is to reappraise the humiliating experience in some way that acknowledges
the victim's strength and ability to cope with a difficult situation. This
approach increases self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence, and diminishes
the fear of humiliation.
The second path is to leave the degrading environment and
find a more grateful environment.
I am one tough cookie! I'm going to choose the first path.
For one reason the situation is school related. I have not dedicated myself to
college for the last four years to have it all come crashing down now. I am
going to pick myself up and return to that class to blow the audience out of
their seats and present the best damn speech they have ever seen, or heard.
As you have just read my penning thoughts, what do you think
is the best way to overcome humiliation? Face it head-on, or run and hide?
Believe me, the urge to run and hide really did cross my
mind. But if we do run and hide, the person that did the humiliating wins. And
I don't know about you, but I really hate to lose.....
Don't let humiliation take the upper hand. Crush it! Stomp
on it! And fight back appropriately. Guaranteed, you will feel better in the
end.
