Humiliation

It's been a long time folks.

Did you think I gave up on this blog?

One thing that you will find out about me, I am not a quitter!

I have had a really stressful semester. In just 15 days I will be able to put all this school stuff behind me. Don't get me wrong, I will never forget it, and I will always apply what I have learned, but I am looking forward to not having to think so hard. And knowing my luck, I will probably land a job that requires mental application.....SHSHSH!! Did I just write that out loud?

I came here today to vent. So, if you want to put up with me for a few minutes, and maybe soothe my emotions, continue reading. If not, just click that tiny X in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Have you ever been so humiliated, to the point where you just can't face the people in front of you?

That is what I came here to pen about today.

Humiliation hurts!

Humiliation makes you feel singled out, insulted, ego crushed, pride hurt, makes you feel powerless, diminished, and sometimes mad as hell!

There are nine different definitions for humiliation. Did you know that? Me either. But I am going to list them for you:

1. Feeling disrespected.

2. A loss of stature or image.

3. An image change reflecting a decrease in what others believe about your stature.

4. Induced shame.

5. To reduce the pride or fail to recognize the dignity of another.

6. An event perceived to cause loss of honor and induce shame.

7. Feeling powerless.

8. Being unjustly forced into a degrading position.

9. Ridicule, scorn, contempt, or other treatment at the hands of others.

That list pretty much covers all the feelings that a person goes through when they have just been humiliated.

I don't feel the pangs of humiliation often, but when I do, I feel like the walls close in to trap me, a huge spotlight has just been single-shot directly on me, and when I look at the people in front of me they are all laughing. All of those feelings, I'm sure, are just mind games that increase the feeling of humiliation even more.

I was humiliated in speech class right before I was to present my speech. Fighting the feelings of humiliation, finding the strength to get through my speech, and telling myself that I'm a strong person just made my self-esteem disintegrate. I made it half way through my speech, trying hard to concentrate, stumbling over my notes, forgetting what I had to say, before I broke down in tears and ran out of the classroom. And I was mad as hell!! My professional instructor is purposefully affecting my grade because his teaching technique causes humiliation, is what I was thinking.

But humiliation does not stand alone. Right beside humiliation is shame. I now have to find the courage to return to that class and present my final speech. Simply put, shame is private, where humiliation is public. Humiliation is suffering and insult. If you judge the insult to be credible, then you feel shame. A person only feels shame if their self-image is reduced; and that requires a person's own assessment and decision. A person who is insecure about their genuine stature is more prone to feeling shame as a result of humiliation. Therefore, that is why I cried for three days straight. My fragile self-esteem was bruised. I did everything in my power to get over the shame feeling, and my eyes were so swollen that I couldn't even apply make-up. Yup, I was mad as hell!

Thus, how do I resolve this humiliation and shame feeling? Victims of humiliation may be able to achieve resolution through either of two paths. The first is to reappraise the humiliating experience in some way that acknowledges the victim's strength and ability to cope with a difficult situation. This approach increases self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence, and diminishes the fear of humiliation.

The second path is to leave the degrading environment and find a more grateful environment.

I am one tough cookie! I'm going to choose the first path. For one reason the situation is school related. I have not dedicated myself to college for the last four years to have it all come crashing down now. I am going to pick myself up and return to that class to blow the audience out of their seats and present the best damn speech they have ever seen, or heard.

As you have just read my penning thoughts, what do you think is the best way to overcome humiliation? Face it head-on, or run and hide?

Believe me, the urge to run and hide really did cross my mind. But if we do run and hide, the person that did the humiliating wins. And I don't know about you, but I really hate to lose.....

Don't let humiliation take the upper hand. Crush it! Stomp on it! And fight back appropriately. Guaranteed, you will feel better in the end.