Love At First Sight

Is there such a thing as love at first sight?

Do you believe in it?

Could you live it?

Can you trust it?

"Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens - the main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away." 

- John Steinbeck, author.

Let me fill you in on what has been going on in my life. 

Totally unbelievable.

But causing emotions that I can't control.

Yeah, the strong independent woman has finally been beaten. Can you believe that?

Do you ever think about your high school crushes? This is where the story begins...... Thirty years ago in high school. 

There was a boy. A very intriguing boy. A boy that caught my attention from a distance. He was such a mystery. He carried himself with pride, and also carried the attitude, "I don't care what people think about me." An attitude that I longed for. So I just sat back and watched him, longed to be like him, and was totally intrigued by him.

He had the look of a rebel, a hellion, a trouble maker. So the truth is, I was kind of scared of him. I continued to keep my distance. But there was a secret place in my heart that screamed, "I would love to be with him!"

  This my friends is the High School Senior, Johnie Clark, Jr.

 

See........INTRIGUING!! A MYSTERY!! A REBEL!!

We both completed high school going our own separate ways, stumbling through relationships, marriages, and loneliness.

We have been connected on Facebook for years, commenting every once in a while on each other's posts. Small talk. Old friends from high school kind of thing.

Now lets fast forward thirty years to the present. Here is my story. This is what I felt with my heart. Through my own eyes and feelings. Love at first sight.

November 3,2013

I drove back north from Columbus to visit my oldest daughter. When I visit with my daughter I try and keep my Facebook shut off. But for some reason on Sunday I opened my Facebook on my phone to find this reply message:

Johnie Clark Jr.

Morning, yes it was nice. I hope you feel good when you get up lol. Don't by shy give me a yell anytime

Angie Walker

I will do just that.

And our conversation turned into a Sunday lunch invite. On my way back to Columbus I stopped by to see an old high school chum to have conversation and reminisce. But this is what really happened:

Arrangements were made for Sunday lunch. I agreed to stop by Johnie's house. And the strangest thing happened on my way there. The closer I got to his house the more butterflies I was feeling in the pit of my stomach. I truly thought I was going to have to pull over and vomit. My heart was racing and I was finding it hard to breathe. Yes, it was that bad! I kept questioning my symptoms. What the hell is wrong with me? I was having flashbacks of watching him from a distance thirty years ago. 

Once I got to Marion I couldn't find Johnie's house. I parked and called his cell. He asked me where I was at, and then he told me to park at the tallest building in Marion and he would walk to meet me. As I was watching in my rear-view mirror I saw a salt and pepper haired man walking toward my car. I knew it was Johnie! He still carried himself with pride and confidence. That high school boy that I remembered so well. I stepped out of my car and this is what happened: We hugged with a quick kiss, and as we came together our hearts exploded. As God as my witness, I heard it! I felt it! And then Johnie said, "Oh my God, you are still the most beautiful girl in the whole entire school!" 

Our date turned into lunch at Carrabba's, dessert at the North Market in Columbus, a container of goat cheese, and a movie (Gravity). I didn't get home until 10 that night. We spent most of the day confessing the feelings we had for each other in high school. Since our first date we have been together every weekend. And sometimes during the week. We live an hour from each other. You drive thirty and I'll drive thirty. We meet mid week for dinner.

Is it possible? 

Love at first sight?

I do believe it is. 

I am experiencing it.

I am feeling it. 

And I am falling.

I am no longer intrigued from a distance.

I have the mystery man in my arms.

The brick walls around my heart and soul have crumbled.

The strong independent woman who thought she was going to die alone has been broken.

Captured!

 This is Johnie Clark, Jr. today.

Along with me in his arms.

The way it should be.

SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST......

    

Remaining Sane

I haven't been here for a while, and this morning I woke up with the urge to get my feelings out onto the computer screen. It always helps me to type what I'm feeling, and it's been way too long overdue.
Let me begin by telling you how much I love Mastin Kipp. If you don't know who he is here is a link to his inspiration that touched me this morning, and made me realize that what I'm facing is a bump in the road. Give Mastin a visit.

I agree with Mastin, we all hit bumps in the road of life. But I am not bouncing high enough as quickly as I would like.

Back in April I was offered a job that was located three hours away from where I was currently living. A living where I had spent my whole entire life from birth to age 44. This job offer meant that I would have to pack up and leave my stability, my life long home, my children, grand children, and a relationship of seven years. I am a strong woman! I CAN do this! And there was no possible way I could turn down the job offer. I spent four years in college to receive a Bachelor Degree in Organizational Supervision and Leadership. The job position offered was for a shift manager. I AM THERE!! Within three days I packed and moved my necessities to a location three hours away. Now you might say, "Three hours away is not far", "You can always drive back to see your family and friends". But my instant life change created a bump in the road for me.
I tried my hardest to convince myself that the opportunity would be fun. I would live on my own for the first time in my life. No children, no relationship, no responsibilities other than my own, and could come and go as I pleased. Fun, right? I did okay for the first few weeks. Got totally involved with my new job (learning kept me content), loved the new experience of the city, walked to the grocery store when I wanted something to eat (a convenience I didn't have in my previous life), and went out exploring. But as time went on I found it very difficult to deal with returning to an empty apartment, not having anyone to talk to, not having any friends, and the hardest one to deal with, sleeping alone.

I began suppressing my emotions and feelings. Stuffing them back into myself to create my own loneliness, my own depression, my own fear. I broke off the relationship of seven years because I didn't think it was fair to drag him into my insecure crazy life. When I noticed the depressing feelings sneaking up on me I then decided to take the weekends and drive back to my life-long home. Stay there for the weekend and that should give me enough energy to get through the work week until another drive back on the weekend came along. My drives back and forth created a bonding friendship with someone that has always been dear to me. Then my work weeks turned into a "missing you" issue and I couldn't wait for that drive back home. I didn't realize what I was doing to myself. I was creating my own misery. My own insanity. My own problems. Which created even more suppressing emotions and feelings. I HAVE TO STOP!!

So today, instead of running, I have decided to make some changes. I am going to try and follow Mastin's system and give up the chase. I am going to live day to day and not rush tomorrow. I am going to breathe, and I even ordered "The Crazy Sexy Diet" that Mastin suggested.

To get the full gist of the message you have visit Mastin.