Thursday, September 18, 2014


For some reason today I was pulled here to write.

I got up early this morning while it was still dark, made my wonderful coffee (my best friend), lit a candle in the middle of the table (my laptop is positioned at one end), sat down in front of a great big picture window, and as the sun came up my heart just filled with warmth.

My thoughts, and you know how crazy my thoughts can sometimes be, went to how blessed I am in this wonderful relationship that I have finally found. I am finally at peace, with passion, with commitment, with security, with faithfulness.....

What if things in my life had gone differently? I do believe that everything I went through lead me right straight to Johnie.
Wouldn't it be great if we could just stop life and grow?
What I mean by that is, as we get older we see and feel things more differently. We become a stronger person. We feel more passion, more freedom, more self-worth, more warmth, more gentleness, and the list goes on.....
I would have enjoyed my younger years if I could have stopped to grow. If I could have stopped to see, hear, and feel in my 20's what I see, hear, and feel in my 40's life could have been great. But I would have missed out on my children, the relationships that caused heartache (made me stronger), education, career moves, and spiritual moments. If my life would have stopped to get me where I am today I wouldn't have grown into the person I am. My past life created me to be the woman that Johnie has been longing for.

My growth is the attraction that Johnie sees, that pulls me to him every single day. I have improved with my growth, I have become a better partner, and although I am far from perfect, I know how to correct and focus. Keeping a relationship strong is hard work. But it can be enjoyable work. Just apply creativity and all is wonderful.

Here are 5 attractions from me that Johnie accepts with a full heart:
(And I promise playing pool naked will not be on this list. Strip 9-ball was one of our creative moments.)

1. I can truly be myself. I am completely different than any other woman Johnie has had in his life. I do not resort to the same old tactics in past relationships. I do not cater to his every whim. Although I do enjoy pampering him sometimes.

2. One thing I am still working hard at is knocking out the "yes-girl". When Johnie asks me a question like, "Where do you want to go for dinner?", he is looking for an answer. Along with most men, "I don't care", or "It's up to you." doesn't fly.
I give my honest opinion when he asks me what I think on certain subjects like, career moves, financial decisions, etc.... I am up-front and honest with him. I do not color my opinion by agreeing with his. Johnie is a self-confident person and he expects the same out of me.

3. I embrace my independence. WHOA!!! Doesn't independence in a woman scare men away? Bottom line: Independence in a woman is attractive to a man who values a woman for who she is, and not just for what she can provide for him. Johnie wants a relationship to be a true partnership. He wants and needs a true partner. I will be one. That means we can bounce ideas, dreams, and plans off of one another to merge into the life that we will make together.

4. My confidence will act as an aphrodisiac. Johnie has a certain confidence about him that does not come off as being cocky. So why wouldn't he want the same from me? Johnie doesn't want to be weighed down with my nagging of insecurities. I am currently unemployed, feeling worthless, and gaining weight. Johnie fell in love with the inner person that I carry. If I complain about my insecurities that will surly be a turn off. Johnie chose ME!

5. It is said that men choose women that make them love themselves more. Johnie has qualities that I truly adore. I don't lie! I congratulate him on his accomplishments, I tell him that my favorite time of the day is laying in his arms, I tell him how much I love his touch, his gentleness, and how much I love the way he loves me.

If you are the woman that is delivering these attractions to your man, you will have a long lasting, special, unconditional love relationship. It takes two! A relationship cannot be weak with insecurities and only be based around a woman. A woman has to have the strength and confidence to apply what a man is longing for too.

Nicknames (pet names): They are healthy......

I love the way Johnie calls me "Lucy, Lucies, hey Lucy". Although it is another woman's name, just the way it comes out of Johnie's mouth is an attraction for me. And I'm sure greeting him at the door every day with, "Hi Honey" (said very sweetly) along with a huge hug is just as much of an attraction for him.

Men are not as complicated as women make them out to be. They long for and love a lot of the same attractions women do. We love attention, compliments, security, commitment, honesty, faithfulness,......
So why wouldn't a man love the same things?


  1. SO happy to see you writing! I love how you're evolving even as you write about how much you have grown... keep up the great work, you are an amazing human being, and one I am SO proud to call my friend! xo

  2. Love this! Love even more that you are HAPPY!!! xoxoxoxo

    1. Being in a relationship with Johnie Clark Jr. now (you do remember him from high school, right?) makes me wonder why we didn't connect when we were younger. Thanks for stopping by Nikki.