Monday, July 20, 2015

To My Daughter-in-law

October 3, 2015

The time is drawing near for my son to be handed to you for a lifetime. But before I hand him over I have a letter to share with you. This letter can't possibly cover everything, but hopefully it will give you some direction on what kind of man my son has grown into.

First, I want you to know that I love you. I love you because you love my son with all of your heart. And I know my son will return that love whole heatedly.
As a mother, my son will always be mine. But you will be taking over in many ways.
You will be the one to hold his hand,
kiss him goodnight,
comfort him when he is scared,
share his dreams,
his beliefs, which leads me to tell you that I have raised him a true believer. This is the story:

When he was 18 years old I asked him if I did a good job teaching him religion.
His response, "FISSTTT! NO!"
I wanted to fall to the floor in tears. I was faithful to committing to church every Sunday while he was growing up. Where did I fail? But he was quick to explain.
"Mom, you can't teach someone religion. Religion is a topic that each individual has to find on their own. But I can tell you that you did a good job at teaching me to believe".
Share his sincere thoughts,
and your eyes will be his peace,
your heart his home.

As a woman you need to understand your worth, and respect yourself. And I hope you respect others in that same way. You should never be afraid to share your voice. But share that voice to speak life, not hurtful things. I hope you respect my son the same way you respect yourself.
He is his own man (a phase of gangster clothes in Jr. High), and I am not to blame for his flaws. He has his own quirks, and I'm sure as you walk through life together you will find those out. Give him the space he needs to be his own person, just as I have raised him to do the same for you.

He will not complete you.
You will not complete him.
Only God can do that.

I only hope that you two will be better together than you are on your own.

The time is drawing near where I will trust you fully with his heart, just as you will trust him with yours. I have raised him to truly understand the value of a woman's heart. And I trust you will never take advantage of that.
I have raised him to be strong, yet vulnerable.
Brave, but humble.
Courageous, but fearless enough to ask for help.

I know he fully understands his role as a man, and a husband. He proves his integrity, honor, humility, faith, and humor everyday. Humor that will leave people in stitches for days.....

He is quick to make friends. And he understands the value of friendship.
He understands independence because I have stood in that role myself as he was growing up.
But I hope he remembers that you were once someone's daughter, and that you belong to God and your parents first.

I hope as the two of you start your life as one, you never forget how that life was built.
I may have been a little late with this lesson, but I hope I have taught him to want you, NOT need you.
Stand strong together. Be strong together.

This great big world will sometimes be overloaded with deafening noises, so much to where you cannot hear each other. But I hope your love and strength over-power those noises. Never forget why you stood there and vowed to each other. Never forget what you have built.

As his mother I have planted seeds of love in my son's heart. They will continue to grow if they are nourished in such way that will bind you together as husband and wife.

It is now time for me to hand my son over to you. Not expecting you to be his mother. Because I have taught him how to take care of himself, and he knows how to cook, clean, and do laundry. But I hand you him as the child I have raised into the man you are building a life with. Cherish each other in such a way that life will never be broken. Remember your vows. Remember your love for each other. Remember the reasons for your commitments.

I love you both with all of my heart.

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