Once again, it's a new semester at college, my last semester, and I am stuck in classrooms with pimple faced/snot-nosed kids. Okay, maybe I shouldn't view them that way. They are educating themselves just like I am, and the young generation that I am schooling with is our future in leadership. But I can't help feeling like that odd peanut M & M that you find in the bottom of the bag. The one that is either odd shaped or missed the chocolate coating all together.....I am 43 (stale) sitting in a classroom of 20 year olds (brand new). They say that my life experiences and wisdom are good for the young'ns, but I can't help feeling like the minority, the lonely, the oddball, the old fogy......
Do you have any suggestions on how to make myself more comfortable? I am not hard to get along with, and I usually don't struggle with conversation, just feel like an outcast, alien, and they will all laugh at you (Carrie).
I definitely match up with the definition of minority:
a. The smaller in number of two groups forming a whole (young and old).
b. A group or party having fewer than a controlling number of votes (I sit alone while the young students form their teams. The ones that went to high school together and know each other from grade school.)
As my classmates form teams to work with throughout the semester, I sit there quietly, not knowing anyone, and waiting to be invited.
I feel like the last kid standing in a kick-ball team call out. The one that no one wants to have playing on their team. The one that has no coordination, no team effort, the one with the nerd glasses that are taped with white tape at the bridge of the nose.....
But as I look around the classroom at my young classmates, I think about the space around them. I am observing a thought (they are so young and I don't really fit in here). I have the uncomfortable feeling, but there is a part of me that is observing this feeling. When I focus on the observation, the space around the problem, I dethatch from the problem or situation, and I can then begin to focus on and transform it. I can change this uncomfortable feeling I have and focus more on the similarities. We are all going to school for the same thing, to better our future, to make a mark in our lives, and to better educate ourselves.
To explain the observation part; we all think, right? When we have a thought we are constantly observing that thought. We ask ourselves questions about the thought and try to bring ourselves to an understanding of why we are thinking the way we are. That is the observation part of a thought, the space around it. The space around my thoughts on age difference (painful) needs to be closed. I need to come to a peace with my thoughts and focus on the similarities. When I close that gap of observation, my life will become normal and change for the good. I have to give what is going on in school a new meaning, a new power, a new peace. I need to give my (young) classmates a chance to let me mold with them.
And this little ditty came through my email today, which gives me strength and courage: God has seen you struggling with something. God says it's over. A Blessing is coming your way.
My Blessing I believe is, I do have the strength to make it through this last semester of college even though I am surrounded by the young.
Hugs for Always,
Angie
Angie... why would you WANT to be just another carbon-copy M&M in the scheme of things? Rather than focusing on the lonely side of being older than your fellow classmates, focus on the fact that the life experiences that have shaped you thus far, will certainly give you a leg-up when this final semester reaches its close. While the fresh-faced young'uns may seem to have it all now... it's your laugh lines, your earned wisdom, that will provide the stability and maturity employers seek... it's the years under your belt that are going to make you excel at what you do...
ReplyDeleteDon't feel lonely, or isolated... revel in the fact that unlike so many others, you have taken your destiny into your own hands, and you've forged ahead, where many others would lie down and let life walk over them... At the end of the semester... you will be released into a playing field where YOU will have the upper hand...
What great encouragement in those words. It's really hard to be strong in the heat of the moment, but I have gotten through this before....I know I can do it again. Things that are new are always a battle, but in time I think things will change. Thank you so much Tami. I am so glad that our friendship has blossomed. You are a great friend to have by my side....Even if it is a cyber side.
ReplyDeleteOh Ang - I SO agree with SassyGal....you DO have the upper hand...and in the end...those youngun's are gonna see in you what they desire. Experience and maturity to begin with. I use to have a preacher who would quote the Bible verse that says "Why do the heathen rage?"...and then say "Because they're heathen". Those young immature kids are gonna behave that way cause that's what they are...and we use to be way back then. Don't let them make you feel lower than they are - you're not! And one day they are going to think of you and what a great example you were to them now. You CAN do this Gal...one day at a time. You're almost done...keep the small things the small things. {{Hugs}}
ReplyDeleteAngie, I so totally understand what you're feeling and have been there, done that, and somedays am still there doing that. It's not always easy being an older person (I'm 53 now) surrounded by younger, healthier, stronger more energetic people who seem to have great social lives. But I do find that I am enjoying my time going to school, even if it is online classes, because I'm learning new things, expanding my mind, and getting a picture of a different and better future for myself and my family. Young people may not appreciate our wisdom and and maturity now, but one day they will look back and remember us and will appreciate it and us.
DeleteI keep reminding myself every day that God has a plan and a purpose for my life, just as He does for you. We are all created as unique individuals and God is blessing us for obeying Him and living in front of others as examples of His love. You are a blessing and don't ever forget that!!