Black Friday

Are you one of those people that go crazy on Black Friday?

Do you put yourself through a whole day of bliss torture? Shopping carts run into the backs of your ankles, baby strollers being used as ram-rods to get through the crowds, hours and hours of long check-out lines, and the possibility of getting hurt with merchandise (or maybe another shopper)?

My daughter asked me to go with her a couple years ago. I don't do well with crowds and my very first reaction was to say "no". But my daughter is a persistent one. "Please mom, all you have to do is stand by the cart and I will throw stuff in." Throw stuff in?? Are you serious? The very first store that we went to, I did just that. I stood by the cart while she threw stuff in. And in my amazed, disbelief, awe, I wanted it to be a mental rejection (this is not happening type of thing), I witnessed merchandise being thrown over innocent bystanders' heads. And do you know what that merchandise was? Great big boxes of the battery powered cars (jeeps) for kids. Oh Lord, I wanted to exit that store, and exit it NOW (I am having a panic attack). The next store that we went to (3 hours later) I found the nearest bench and sat there till my daughter was done shopping (I really hope this bench is bolted down, because when I get the urge to sprint out of the store, I might just take it with me).

I ran across an article from Salt Lake City's Target and Best Buy stores. If you love to shop Black Friday, they make it possible for you to gobble down your turkey dinner and then head out for shopping. The doors will open and the crowds will charge. CHARGE!

Did you know that these two stores start planning their Black Friday sales in July? That is almost four months of planning. And it's not just planning the items that they want to mark for sale, those four months are used for training too. The stores provide in-store seminars and classes to teach the employees the ins and outs of handling large crowds. And the number one concern on Black Friday is customer safety. A public shopping facility being trained on customer safety.....does that tell you something? Every employee is assigned a position. This is kind of sounding like a set up for the president to arrive (they have snipers at every entrance and exit. Security in every department. And a walkie-talkie system just in case there is trouble, like a stampede, fist fights, or hair pulling....). Best buy will have an extra 25 employees on hand; Target will have nearly 175 staffers throughout the day.

One fun fact for you: Americans are expected (statistics, gotta love'm) to spend about $450 billion in sales over the holiday season this year.

Me, I am going to stay home on Black Friday with my doors and windows bolted.....The one day of the year I stay home. Okay, two days a year, I don't go anywhere on New Year's Eve either. I will stay home and say a prayer for the people that put themselves through torture.

I Am Still Stuck On Leadership Skills

I was doing some blog surfing and Back Porch Spice lead me to Quay Po Cooks. You will have to check her out because she is an awesome writer, and she made me laugh on my very first visit with this post. First impressions mean a lot. But the amazing thing about this post, it brought back a memory for me and I thought I'd share it with you.

How do you pass the time with the leaders (supervisors, mentors, etc....) in your life? Are you serious with them all the time, or do you mix things up and add a little humor? Make each other laugh....

While I was visiting Quay Po Cooks I was scrolling down her blog posts and came across this title, "When a Man Grows Older, His Balls Get Smaller". Okay, this is suppose to be a cooking blog....The title made me do one of these; forced me to slam back in my chair and caused my eyes to pop wide open. Can you just see that happening? I know you have done the exact same thing when you see something unexpected.

I am going to tell you the story about my own supervisor (leader) experience, and I really hope I don't offend anyone. Yes, I have a dirty minded streak in me.....don't we all? Working 22 years in a factory tends to keep the mind sharp on the funny thoughts, dirty thoughts, and how to strike out at people without being too offensive.

I spent 22 years working in a factory, and if you've never worked in a factory, this is usually what you will find; everyone talks like a truck driver (no offence truck drivers, just a metaphor), a person is judged by the way they look, there are clicks just like in high school, and the gossip is knee deep.

But on the up-side, some of your co-workers are like your second family. And if you think about it, working in a factory has longer hours than your home hours. So that leads to great relationships and poking fun while you work.

My supervisor at the time was male and we were kind of close in age (he was a little older). I was working the night shift, and my supervisor was faced with a deadline on a particular part that needed to be shipped first thing in the morning. He assigned me to do the job. I always worked very well under pressure, but that night my supervisor thought he needed to check the production numbers every thirty minutes. One thing that I never liked was being checked on (treated like a child). Half way through the shift, and being checked on every half hour, I decided to put an end to it, or try to anyway. He came up behind me one last time and asked how the numbers were looking. I turned around (with a smile on my face, of course) and said, "If you're going to ride my a$$, you better be pulling my hair."

IT WORKED!! And the look on his (blushing red) face was priceless. He had the same look as I had when I ran across the post article about men's balls. Buggy eyes, a step back, and SILENCE.....Yup, left him speechless. I didn't see him the rest of the shift. And yes, the production numbers were met for the morning shipment.

After the little pep-talk, words of encouragement, and dumbfounding the supervisor that night, he figured out that I didn't have to be checked on constantly.

I am working my way toward filling a supervisor position myself and I have been searching for ideas and suggestions that will make me one of the BEST. Funny stories and personal experiences are helping me along the way....

"The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You DEVELOP the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it." ~Elaine Agather

I am going to print this list and keep it near by for when I fill my leadership job role:

1. Have fun (cheap) toys handy to pass out to employees during the working hours. Foam dart fights after a long tedious day of work will relieve stress.

2. Have good ice breakers during a bad day (funny photos on the wall) just to get employees to laugh.

3. Place humor in documents and memos (Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done!)

4. Will I want people to read manuals? Write on a random page (10) that the first 10 employees to mention the page receive a gift (a T-shirt, and the T-shirt would say, "ask me about page 10").

5. Issue dollar fines for excessive whining, and use the proceeds to have a team party.

6. Include competitive FUNdraising. Each department competes to see which team can raise the most money for a charity, with the winning team receiving a prize.

7. Take the blame when an employee fails or messes up.

8. Celebrate screw ups - allow employees a means to feel it's okay to say we screwed up.

Leaders and employees that play together stay together. When fun is encouraged employees or team members are inspired.

Hugs for Always,

Angie

"FAITH"

Over the last few days the word "FAITH" has been appearing everywhere for me. In my emails, on blogs, under my pillow, in the shower, and in my thoughts. So, today I intend to take some time and find out for myself what faith really means. Is it a dream? A vision? A hope? A demand? Is it expected?

According to Merriam-Webster, "FAITH" has many meanings. When we hear the word "faith" we automatically think religion, but it is much more than that. "FAITH" is huge and it only has five letters.

Definition of FAITH:

1. a: allegiance to duty or a person - LOYALTY

b: (1) fidelity to one's promises (2) sincerity of intentions

2. a: (1) belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) belief in the traditional doctrines of a religion

b: (1) firm belief in something for which there is no proof (2) complete trust

3. something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially: a system of religious beliefs

We never really know what's going to happen in our lives, and every single human being on this big faced earth has a need for certainty. Our need for certainty is, having our car start every day, placing food on the table every day, having a place to sleep at night, and for some, the certainty of money in the bank. Certainty is the sibling to "FAITH". But too much certainty can sometimes stop us from growing or moving forward. That is why we lean on faith more heavily, and leave certainty as a sibling.

The word faith comes from Christian teachings, but it is expandable. Very expandable!

Hebrews 11:1 says, "Faith is being sure of what we hope for." SURE" (impossible to doubt or dispute; certain) and "HOPE" (to wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment) in the same sentence......HUM! But if you think about it, faith IS being sure. Children have faith in their parents, and they are sure their parents will provide. Adults have faith in the companies they work for, and they are sure their company will provide. And I'm not about to bring politics into this post, because (my opinion) faith in our government is dying quickly.....

Now if you bring hope into the mix; children hope for a great childhood, and adults hope for a fulfilling life, which creates "FAITH".

To best understand faith, you can look at it this way: It is made up three words, assurance, substance, and reality.

Assurance - Suppose I owe you $40.00 (we're in a recession, so that's enough), and you ask me, "Where's my $40.00 dollars?" I would say, "I don't have the cash on me, but I do have my checkbook, so I'll just write you a check." You accept the check, and the check is your assurance that you will get the money (as long as it's in my account). The check is as good as cash in your hand. Your confidence is, you will get the money because you have the check. Assurance in "FAITH".

Substance - Something beneath you to hold you up. "Sub" means under. "Stance" means something to stand on. Something that is firm enough to hold you up.

I am to short to reach the top cupboards in my kitchen. I keep a stool in the kitchen to lift me up so I can reach the top shelf. The stool is the substance that is going to guarantee my reach. Faith is what holds you up and supports you through life. Faith is the sub-stance of your life.

Reality - The authenticity of something. Faith makes things real to you even when you can't see it. If someone in your family passes away, and you were told during the reading of the will that that person left you a large money certificate, a money certificate that you didn't know about. A lawyer would hand you the certificate and that guarantees the money is yours. That is something you have not seen before turned into reality. That is also "FAITH".

Our faith, our assurance, our foundation, and the reality of our LIFE is based on what we hope for. It is all based on our "FAITH".

We must believe in something, have faith in something, and bring in a little certainty. That is the perfect recipe for synchronicity.....our God, ourselves, an idea, a cause..., a forward fulfilling life is all based on "FAITH".

I am so glad I took the time to research this information, because now I know how to react when the word faith appears a million times throughout the day. It is telling me that I need to work on my sub------stance. Find a firm foundation and make it grow.

Hugs for Always,

Angie

Organization

Have you been wondering where I've been? Well......I'm.....

How do you keep track of the thoughts in your head?

I have so many thoughts going through my head all at the same time, and sometimes everything wants to jam up like a huge traffic jam on the highway, and then I have to sit and wait for things to clear for days....not minutes or hours like a normal traffic jam, but days.

I don't know what you see in your thoughts, but I do a lot of "what if's", "if only", "I need to", "why?", "can I work this in?", "what will the outcome be?", and "how can I help?"

See, I told you it was a mess.....

Well, I have decided that enough is enough! I'm tired of fighting with myself and it's time that I clear my thoughts and put things into action. I should have saved this for a new year resolution, but I can't wait any longer. I have to do something NOW!

I have decided that starting Monday morning (and this can mean 12:00 a.m. Sunday night) I am going to create a schedule for myself and stick to it faithfully. I already have my calendar all marked out (not an electronic calendar, because that would tempt me to surf the internet). I used a paper calendar with a pen.....call me "old school", I don't care. I have to find something that works for me.

I find myself trying to pack more into a 24-hour day than is humanly possible, applying short cuts. And what do I do when I get to the end of the day? I look back on my day to see what I have accomplished and the view is never really that good....Actually I never really accomplish anything. I almost never complete things. I have good intentions every morning when I get out of bed, but my accomplishments at the end of the day are either unfinished, or never got started. Do you ever feel like that? I think that has a lot to do with the traffic jams in my head and being unorganized.

I have decided that I am going to get organized (place accurate traffic lights in my brain where they belong) on my schoolwork and appearance. Yes, appearance. I have never really had a major weight problem, but when 50 (okay, to be exact, it's 46) extra pounds is placed on someone and it's not suppose to be there....that extra weight tends to make that person feel miserable. And I am miserable!! After I lost my job of 22 years, the pounds crept up on me before I could stop them. I don't want to break into a sweat anymore when I get dressed in the morning, or feel out of breath just from putting on my pants. GEEEESH!! And I have a whole dresser full of size 10 jeans that are just sitting there begging to be worn....

Time management and weight loss have a lot in common (and both of these probably come sliding in behind the Get Rich Quick industry). People want instant results, but really don't want to put forth the effort to make things happen or change. Everyone knows to lose weight you eat less and move (sweat) more. To manage your time you take on less and concentrate harder on what you do tackle. But the simple things (less) are the hardest to tackle. That is why my accomplishments at the end of the day are unfulfilled. The simple things get pushed aside and I focus more on the large things. The things that are impossible to finish in one day. It is now time to stop that! I need an even-steven and I need it now.

Have you ever given thought to owning a pedometer? If you think about it, a woman is constantly walking, whether it be doing daily chores, shopping, or chasing children. Can you imagine what it would be like if we didn't combine our daily routine things? STOP MULTITASKING!! For example, instead of trying to see how many grocery bags you can pile on one arm, one finger, or one neck, maybe consider taking one bag at a time. Back and forth to the trunk 20 times instead of 1. That pedometer would be smoke'n by the time you got all the groceries in. The same thing with laundry. Instead of packing your arms full and balancing everything with your chin, how about placing one piece of laundry in the washer at a time. Pile them on the floor, bend, pick-up, twist; place in one shirt, bend pick-up, twist; place in one pair of pants, etc....There are so many ways we can keep ourselves active with everyday routines. Park farther away from the store or workplace.....walk farther. Let your 2 year old run loose in the house. Guaranteed to create exercise for mom.

So, now it's time for me to take my own advice and stop sitting in this computer chair typing all day long. I am going to get in some extra steps, and extra physical activity. If I'm going to live for a long time, I sure do want to be able to enjoy life.

Hugs for Always,

Angie

Leadership

It's a rainy day Monday, and I have two papers to write before class on Wednesday. It is quiet in the house with just the sound of rain lightly hitting the roof, and oh yeah, the dreadful sound of the washing machine. Monday's are always laundry day. And I am going to take the time to bore you with my leadership research.....HA! Lucky you!

I have a portfolio project to complete for my leadership class, and I thought it would be helpful if I get some of my thoughts down on paper the computer screen to help me along. My portfolio consists of a view of one book by a leader or about a leader (due 4 pages), a review of at least one article dealing with leadership (due 4 pages), a short discussion of a leadership story (due 2 pages), (and I already know who I'm going to include in this one. He doesn't know it yet, but my minister is going to help me with this one. He has an awesome leadership story.), a discussion of one or two metaphors which guide, enhance, or illuminate my thinking on leaders, their missions, and their relations to their followers (due 2 pages). Looks like I have my hands full, huh?

What is the true definition of leadership? Leadership is a process whereby an individual influences a group of individuals to achieve a common goal.

One of my all time favorite leaders is Martin Luther King Jr. He definitely had an impact and strong influence on our American history, and leading us to where we are today. What a strong man he was, and he carried the four factors of leadership proudly and strongly:

Leader - A person that has a strong understanding of who they are, what they know, and what they can do. A true leader, to be successful, has to convince their followers, not themselves, that they are worthy of being followed.

Followers - Different people, or groups require different styles of leadership. A good strong leader will know their followers. They will know their human nature, such as needs, emotions, and motivation.

Communication - A dedicated leader will never communicate, or ask their audience to perform anything that he/she would not be willing to do themselves.

Situation - A leader will know the difference between one situation to another. There will never be two situations that require the same approach.

Martin Luther King Jr. surly matched the process of great leadership. He challenged the process for the civil rights of his race. He inspired a shared vision, "I have a dream". He also enabled others to act by giving his followers the tools and methods to solve a problem (civil rights movement). He modeled the way by getting his own hands dirty and showing his followers what can be done. And last but not least, he encouraged the heart by sharing the glory with his followers, while keeping the pains within his own heart.

And did he do this all for himself? Heavens no! He did all this for his people, his followers, his audience. He gave his life for his beliefs and inspiration. But he was also rewarded for being such a great leader. He was awarded five honorary degrees; was named man of the year in 1963; and became not only the symbolic leader of American blacks, but also a world figure. He was the youngest man to have received the Nobel Peace Prize, and what did he do with the winnings? He handed over $54,123 to the furtherance of the civil rights movement. In 1968 all this greatness came to an end....He was assassinated while standing on the balcony of his Tennessee hotel room. Which leads to another situation for great leaders to hold in their hearts, they have to face the fact that some people may feel threatened, envious, jealous, and hatred for what a great leader is trying to accomplish. It is sad that some people are affected that way.....

A person does not become a leader overnight, or as the saying goes, "He/she was born a leader". Just so you know, that saying is rubbish, not true, garbage, and can be wiped from any book that it appears in. It takes hard work to become a dependable, trustworthy, and courageous leader.

I have dipped my hands into writing because all the thoughts in my head are just piling up, and piling up, and piling up.....

I take notes (carry around a notebook everywhere I go) to relieve the build-up in my brain. During church service on Sunday the sermon was about leadership. HA!! Go figure! Something that I need information on to complete my portfolio for school. I whipped out my trusty note taking pencil and thought catching notebook, and I started writing.....

What did my thoughts snag catch Sunday morning?

I am just going to transfer everything from my notebook to this piece of paper computer screen. That way you will get a good view of my thought process and how my brain actually works.

Leadership doesn't mean anything unless the leader puts forth love and caring for everyone. If a leader leads for show or money, their skills don't mean anything. Some leaders want to compete (the American way, right?), and that brings forth an image problem where the leader feels and acts superior. Our society has taught us how to compete (it only matters if you win, it doesn't matter if you step on people to get there, and greed).

And oh how we judge people.....is that habit, ignorance, what we've been taught, or is it just a way of our American selfish behavior?

A person that judges others spends so much time worrying about what others are doing, that they don't notice the ignorance they are creating for themselves. People control the way they act, we control what we do and say, and there is a heart within every person that we are quick to judge.

Are you a servant or a selfish know-it-all that can only see what is best for yourself? To be a strong servant (leader), you serve yourself appropriately and others faithfully. Serve, don't judge!

A true leader serves with a whole warm heart!

Hugs for Always,

Angie

Excuses are BS!

Making excuses is a bunch of bull$&#% BS. But you know what? I would be lying if I said that I never make excuses. I make excuses all the time when it comes to my health, choice of foods, and constructing my time. Oh, I am bad with time......I really need to find a way to correct that, and you know what excuse I use when my time is on the line? I don't have a smart phone. Yup, I am going to blame technology. Makes me look good anyway, right? WRONG! How many of you use that same excuse when you have made a commitment and don't really want to fulfill it? It's technology's fault.

"If I had a smart phone I would be able to schedule my time, appointments, work load, and even food intake. I'm sure there is an app for that....."

If you think about it, excuses were being made since the beginning of time. Excuses go all the way back to the Garden of Eden. God asked Adam if he had eaten of the tree he was commanded not to, Adam created the world's very first excuse, "The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat" (Genesis 3:12). And when God asked Eve what she had done, she gave the world's second excuse, "The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat" (Genesis 3:13).

Excuses negate responsibility, and it is responsibility that separates man from the rest of the world. We are responsible not for what we have, but for what we could have; not for what we are, but for what we could become. Trying to hide our failures with excuses is like hiding a small hole in our clothes with a large patch; the patch is clearly noticeable, draws attention, and only makes matters worse.

Benjamin Franklin once said, "He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else."

And Shakespeare: "And oftentimes, excusing of a fault,

Doth make a fault the worse by the excuse;

As patches set upon a little breach,

Discredit more in hiding of the fault,

Than did the fault before it was so patch'd"

Excuses are harmful because they forbid one from succeeding.

If we discipline ourselves to NOT make excuses and compassionately hug responsibility, we will harvest many rewards. What are the successes of NOT making excuses? We build a strong foundation of self-respect, pride, and confidence. Responsibility grows competence and power. By fulfilling our promises and obligations, we win the trust and respect of others. Excuses are the brake pads of progress.

Food intake and choices seem to be a tough responsibility for some people to deal with. One of my pet peeves is when someone says, "I can't eat healthy because it is so expensive", or "I am on a fixed income so I can't afford to buy healthy foods." Now, to me, that is BS..... an excuse....a large patch.... There might as well be a sticker on your forehead that says "I am a failure and I hide behind my excuses".

I am attending a health and fitness class at school. My excuse for being overweight is, "I have a hard time keeping a schedule." .....BS.....FAILURE.....LARGE PATCH.....LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY.....STICKER ON MY FOREHEAD......

I would do so much better if I had a schedule trainer follow me around constantly saying, "It is now time to eat fruit, it is now time to run on the elliptical, it is now time to go for a walk, it is now time to do homework, it is now time to do volunteer work, it is now time to eat a healthy dinner, it is now time to spend with family, it is now time to sleep"......and so on.... I know I would be able to make it work if I had a trainer. Bull$&#%!! BS!! I need to take responsibility and create my own structured schedule. AND STICK TO IT!

But anyway, back to the pet peeve of not being able to eat healthy. Every single grocery store runs a sale ad. That is how they get customers into their store. And their sale items consist of sales out of every department (produce, meats, frozen foods, dairy, etc...). This is how I fulfill my needs of eating healthy: I work from the sale ad only. Sure I may not be hungry for the items that are on sale, but I adjust. I adjust to the foods, I don't let the foods adjust me. And something else that restricts people from eating healthy, the time it takes to cook or prepare meals. Quick-fix foods are so much easier and faster.....or is that an excuse?

I was at the grocery store just yesterday and bought cabbage, grapes, avocados, celery, lean pork products, and some raviolis (for the daughter) for less than $65.00. I bought enough healthy food to feed us (3) for a week. Less than $65.00 cannot be met on a fixed income? If you want to make it happen, you will find a way (responsibility).

I ran across a list of "how to stop making excuses and start building a life", and there is a cute little garden that goes along with it.

1. Realize that your success or failure depends on you. The choices you make will strengthen your attitude. Don't spend so much time on creating an excuse, spend that time creating responsibility for yourself.

2. Beware of rationalization. Sometimes we create excuses to hide the behavior we are ashamed of (being overweight). You can fight rationalization by creating a list to strengthen your weaknesses. An, "I am not going to do this anymore list", and check them off as you complete them. Before you know it, you won't need that list anymore because your changes will become habit. Instead of heading to the freezer section of the grocery store, spend about 30 minutes in the produce department. Discipline yourself!

3. From time to time, stop and examine your progress. Set goals for yourself. Make a list of goals, say for a week or a month, complete those goals and review them. Maybe at the end of a week or month you can increase the goals. Even if it takes baby steps, goals are good.

My goals that I created for myself are, 1. eating breakfast every day. I'm not a breakfast eater, but breakfast is the most important meal of the day, whether it be 1 egg, a sugar free muffin, or a small bowl of cereal. 2. I am also running (walking) 20 minutes a day on the elliptical. I plan on increasing that after a month. Baby steps.....

4. When you make a mistake, accept responsibility. Learn from that mistake, get back on that horse, and don't repeat it. Use your time wisely, discover solutions instead of inventing excuses.

5. Plant your garden of success! Start today!

First, plant 3 rows of peas;
Patience
Positive thinking
Persistence

Next, plant 3 rows of squash;
Squash excuses
Squash blame
Squash criticism

Then, plant 3 rows of lettuce;
Let us be responsible
Let us be trustworthy
Let us be ambitious

Finish, with 3 rows of turnip;
Turn up when needed
Turn up with a smile
Turn up with confidence

Are you going to plant your garden today?

A Big Fat "F"

A big fat "F"......

And that is exactly what I looked like when I was handed back my quiz in my accounting class. I think I blacked out for at least thirty minutes (or more), didn't know where I was at (room started spinning), and when I came to, I was in need of a toilet really bad because I felt like I was going to PUKE.

If I would have placed this scenario back 26 years ago, when I was in high school.... failing grades were cool, that's how you became popular, of course I would have been okay. I would have smirked at the teacher and had a proud simper look on my face. But I'm 43 years old, trying to better my life, stuff my brain full of education (overload), and every waking minute is spent on schoolwork.....An "F" is completely unacceptable!

I pulled myself together to make it through the four hours of class, mentally yelling at myself for being so stupid, imagined punching myself really hard, and forced thoughts of good things into my head (rainbows, butterflies, what's for dinner, monkeys at the zoo, etc....) so I wouldn't break down in tears and look even more stupid. But when class was over and I (sprinted) got in the car alone.....Oh buddy! The waterworks started! I have at least a 20 minute drive home, so I thought that would give me enough time to feel sorry for myself. I could have a good cry, pat myself on the back and say, "It will be okay. You have plenty of time to pull this "F" up. Get it together Angie!! You are making stupid silly mistakes and not putting your "ALL" into it. You just aren't concentrating hard enough."

After my pep talk with myself, I felt better (a little). I can now return home and no one will ever know I was crying (over spilt milk).

"Big Girls Don't Cry".....Do you remember that song by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons? Yeah, even when it came on the radio during the drive home, it didn't make me feel any better. Actually it made me even more angry, and that's when I reached down and tore off the radio knob.....SHUT THE HELL UP!! "You have no idea what I am going through right now Frankie, and I don't need your mushy support."

I wiped my tears at a stop sign about five minutes away from my house, fixed my make-up, took some deep breaths, thought of monkeys at the zoo again, and when I pulled in the driveway I had everything under control (so I thought). But guess who was standing at the door? Yup, the person that supports me the most, the love of my life, my equal half, and the one that turned on the waterworks again (dang it!). All I had to do was look at him and I instantly started crying.....AGAIN! Another big fat failure in a single day. I am suppose to be the strong one, I am suppose to be the supporter, and I am older so I have to fulfill stability. OMG!! What a big fat cry baby I am.....

But you know what? I did some research today on crying, and according to doctors, crying is healthy. It is an emotional perspiration of the body. Given the fact that I sweat often (don't forget I'm 43), I suppose it makes sense that I'm a crier. And after my research, I don't have to feel bad about it, because after a good cry, I always feel cleansed, ignoring the swollen eyes, broken heart feeling, and fighting to stop the tears. I always feel like my heart and mind have connected and rubbed together like my first cup of coffee and cream at the start of each new day. Crying makes me feel renewed, refreshed, and gives me a start-over point. Even though I look like crap afterward.

Here are seven ways (according to doctors) tears, or crying heal us physiologically, psychologically, and spiritually.

1. Tears help us to see. Literally. Tears not only act as a lubricant for the eyeball, they also prevent dehydration of our mucous membranes. No lubrication = no eyesight.

2. Tears are our own built in waterless antibacterial solution. Cry a few tears and there is no need for liquid antibacterial soaps. Catch your tears and you are all set to fight off germs. So, the next time you go shopping, think about the money you are spending, cry while making your food or item choices, wash your hands with tears, and there is no worries about the germs that were left on that shopping cart.

3. Crying and tears have been researched for as long as I have been searching for sanity, and that is a long time.....But it has been found that emotional tears (distress or grief = a big fat "F") contains more toxic byproducts than tears of irritation (onion peeling or poking yourself in the eye with a mascara brush). Now that doesn't mean that tears are toxic themselves, it means that tears remove toxins from our bodies. Tears are like a natural massage that has no cost. So, that big fat "F" gave me the best massage I have ever had.

4. You know, all those feelings that live rent free inside your head (anxiety, fatigue, aggression, nervousness, etc....)? Crying releases them feelings to move out of your head. The stress you feel is your manganese level. When that level is lower, you are more healthy (so go ahead and cry). Pack your bags manganese level I am kicking you(r) ass out.

5. It is true, tears are really a form of body perspiration. Do you feel better after you exercise and sweat (lookie there, now I know why I don't exercise, I cry all the time)? Well, a good cry does the same thing. Tears remove some of the chemicals built up in the body from stress. I must have been really stressed out because I sweated tears for one whole evening.....If you hold back your tears that is when stress levels will contribute to high blood pressure, heart problems, and peptic ulcers. After my hours of crying, I am now stress free....YIPPIE!

6. Tears help communication and foster community. What? If someone is concerned about my tears, does that mean I have to invite them to dinner? Does that mean we have joined together in a tight community? No, help in communication and fostering community simply means that the people that matter most in your life are there to support you. Tears strengthen relationships. Right Sean? And you better agree, because you made me feel better when I pulled in the driveway crying like a big fat failure.

7. If you let conflicts and resentments build up inside you, they gather in the limbic system of the brain. Crying lets the devils out before they wreak havoc with the nervous and cardiovascular systems. It is true, all human feelings need to be felt, but it helps when we are able to throw fits, sob and cry, perspire (tears), and tremble.

Go ahead, it is healthy to cry, and you can leave the rainbows and monkeys out of it.....Just let the tears flow, wash your hands, make new friends, and relieve some of that stress.

Hugs for Always,

Angie