Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude

Have you ever heard of this German word?

According to Merrium Webster: scha-den-freu-de means a feeling of enjoyment that comes from seeing or hearing about the troubles of other people.

Basically, one feels enjoyment when others fail. Other people’s FAILURE is a stimulant to these types of people. It’s as though they get a high from it.

The word failure has been running through my mind lately. And you know me…..When something sticks in my head I have to confront it. So today I choose to let my fingers do the talking and research this ugly word called “failure”.

When I see others celebrate another’s failure my immediate reaction is heartbreak. How can someone be so cruel/evil? But as I research I am finding out that this act of cruelness is quite common. Schadenfreude in German means a mixture of joy and evil. It is generally regarded as morally evil. To enjoy other people’s misfortune is diabolical. The joy that is found is one of the worst traits in human nature since it is closely related to cruelty.

A major reason for a person being pleased with the misfortune of another person is that the person's misfortune may somehow benefit that person that is thriving on creating misery; it may, for example, emphasize their superiority. This is mostly found in working relationships where two people share a small space. For example; a common station, or position.  

But hold on. There is good news and bad news about this miserable human condition. The good news, YOU are on the right track if you are doing something high-risk and is your passion. The bad news, there will always be others that would love to see you fail instead of being helpful. If you run across people that are helpful, hold onto them tight and treat them well because they are few and far between in today’s high speed world, the dog-eat-dog society, the sink or swim motto….. and shall I go on? I do believe you know what I’m talking about.

Through my life journey I strongly emphasize “get to know yourself”, know your “station”, know where you are going and know where you want to be in life.

Here is a quote from Tennessee Williams that I love and want to share with you: “A high station in life is earned by the gallantry with which appalling experiences are survived with grace.” Survived with grace? I love Tennessee William’s direction. But what’s more pernicious than that idea is that our insecurity is often heaved upon us by other people. It is thrown at us by the people we surround ourselves with. They try to convince us that we are what we are and we’d better just live that way, because that is what we will always be. For real? Says who? Show me the chapter in the life (my life instructions) instructions on predetermined stations. If you are one that accepts the common external station advice you can expect sub-par outcomes all the time.

I don’t know if the urge to see others fail makes some people feel good, if it’s in their genes, or if it’s the “green-eye” of jealousy but I do know one thing, when the evil-traited one sees you doing something that they never took the time to work towards, they can’t hide the hate. It just comes out like a huge green monster. And their joy in your failure will not make them blink an eye. It will not cause them any kind of pain, pity, or heartache. They will always bask in their glory. Do you really want to give that evil-hearted person the satisfaction? I know I don’t.

Everywhere you look in today’s society there is always going to be someone pointing out what is wrong with you. Your looks don’t measure up, your career is not where it should be, relationships fall apart, money is an issue…..Nothing in your life is the way it is supposed to be, and people are eager to let you know how you have disappointed them.

When you hear this over and over you truly start to believe that you are flawed. You begin to wither inside thinking bad thoughts about yourself. “I am not worthy”. This self-dread can cast the darkest of shadows. Do you ever feel like you fail every day? As hard as you work, do you feel like you get nowhere? And you fight daily to keep your head above water? If you are struggling with these issues, you are truly in a danger zone. The little voice inside your head is repeating over and over, “you are not good enough.” Then you find yourself apologizing for not being good enough:

You’re sorry you can’t do well enough at work – you failed

You’re sorry that you became ill and caused a set-back at work – you failed

You’re sorry that chaos is causing others misery – you failed

Taking on the burdens of others will always make you feel unworthy. “Why can’t I fix it?”, “Why can’t I find a solution to ease your unhappiness?” These kinds of thoughts will wreak havoc on you (I am tired of giving so much of myself). When you internalize so much un-self-worth and self-doubt, your body will absorb it. Your muscles will tense and your insides will become sick. Have you ever noticed that you will usually become ill after a very stressful time? That is your body saying, “STOP! Take a break.” You need to take care of yourself if you want to be any good for someone else. 

So you had a job that didn’t work out, your relationship crashed, your grades were not up to par…..BIG DEAL!! Use all of these as learning experiences. Define the true you and don’t let anyone else’s actions detour your worthiness. If you want, or need things to change it is up to you. Only you, you alone, YOU can make things change. You have the ability to do it. DO IT! 

Never apologize for not being good enough, for struggling in life. You are a person with value who deserves happiness, fulfillment, and true direction. Let your inner spirit soar to great heights knowing that things will be fine. Let the ill-hearted (Schadenfreude) live with their own battles. I am a strong believer in KARMA. What you put out will always come back to you.

Keep life filled with happiness. Be that helpful person that is hard to find. Someone will notice you and hold on tight.

Hugs for always,

Angie 

Love At First Sight

Is there such a thing as love at first sight?

Do you believe in it?

Could you live it?

Can you trust it?

"Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens - the main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away." 

- John Steinbeck, author.

Let me fill you in on what has been going on in my life. 

Totally unbelievable.

But causing emotions that I can't control.

Yeah, the strong independent woman has finally been beaten. Can you believe that?

Do you ever think about your high school crushes? This is where the story begins...... Thirty years ago in high school. 

There was a boy. A very intriguing boy. A boy that caught my attention from a distance. He was such a mystery. He carried himself with pride, and also carried the attitude, "I don't care what people think about me." An attitude that I longed for. So I just sat back and watched him, longed to be like him, and was totally intrigued by him.

He had the look of a rebel, a hellion, a trouble maker. So the truth is, I was kind of scared of him. I continued to keep my distance. But there was a secret place in my heart that screamed, "I would love to be with him!"

  This my friends is the High School Senior, Johnie Clark, Jr.

 

See........INTRIGUING!! A MYSTERY!! A REBEL!!

We both completed high school going our own separate ways, stumbling through relationships, marriages, and loneliness.

We have been connected on Facebook for years, commenting every once in a while on each other's posts. Small talk. Old friends from high school kind of thing.

Now lets fast forward thirty years to the present. Here is my story. This is what I felt with my heart. Through my own eyes and feelings. Love at first sight.

November 3,2013

I drove back north from Columbus to visit my oldest daughter. When I visit with my daughter I try and keep my Facebook shut off. But for some reason on Sunday I opened my Facebook on my phone to find this reply message:

Johnie Clark Jr.

Morning, yes it was nice. I hope you feel good when you get up lol. Don't by shy give me a yell anytime

Angie Walker

I will do just that.

And our conversation turned into a Sunday lunch invite. On my way back to Columbus I stopped by to see an old high school chum to have conversation and reminisce. But this is what really happened:

Arrangements were made for Sunday lunch. I agreed to stop by Johnie's house. And the strangest thing happened on my way there. The closer I got to his house the more butterflies I was feeling in the pit of my stomach. I truly thought I was going to have to pull over and vomit. My heart was racing and I was finding it hard to breathe. Yes, it was that bad! I kept questioning my symptoms. What the hell is wrong with me? I was having flashbacks of watching him from a distance thirty years ago. 

Once I got to Marion I couldn't find Johnie's house. I parked and called his cell. He asked me where I was at, and then he told me to park at the tallest building in Marion and he would walk to meet me. As I was watching in my rear-view mirror I saw a salt and pepper haired man walking toward my car. I knew it was Johnie! He still carried himself with pride and confidence. That high school boy that I remembered so well. I stepped out of my car and this is what happened: We hugged with a quick kiss, and as we came together our hearts exploded. As God as my witness, I heard it! I felt it! And then Johnie said, "Oh my God, you are still the most beautiful girl in the whole entire school!" 

Our date turned into lunch at Carrabba's, dessert at the North Market in Columbus, a container of goat cheese, and a movie (Gravity). I didn't get home until 10 that night. We spent most of the day confessing the feelings we had for each other in high school. Since our first date we have been together every weekend. And sometimes during the week. We live an hour from each other. You drive thirty and I'll drive thirty. We meet mid week for dinner.

Is it possible? 

Love at first sight?

I do believe it is. 

I am experiencing it.

I am feeling it. 

And I am falling.

I am no longer intrigued from a distance.

I have the mystery man in my arms.

The brick walls around my heart and soul have crumbled.

The strong independent woman who thought she was going to die alone has been broken.

Captured!

 This is Johnie Clark, Jr. today.

Along with me in his arms.

The way it should be.

SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST......

    

Remaining Sane

I haven't been here for a while, and this morning I woke up with the urge to get my feelings out onto the computer screen. It always helps me to type what I'm feeling, and it's been way too long overdue.
Let me begin by telling you how much I love Mastin Kipp. If you don't know who he is here is a link to his inspiration that touched me this morning, and made me realize that what I'm facing is a bump in the road. Give Mastin a visit.

I agree with Mastin, we all hit bumps in the road of life. But I am not bouncing high enough as quickly as I would like.

Back in April I was offered a job that was located three hours away from where I was currently living. A living where I had spent my whole entire life from birth to age 44. This job offer meant that I would have to pack up and leave my stability, my life long home, my children, grand children, and a relationship of seven years. I am a strong woman! I CAN do this! And there was no possible way I could turn down the job offer. I spent four years in college to receive a Bachelor Degree in Organizational Supervision and Leadership. The job position offered was for a shift manager. I AM THERE!! Within three days I packed and moved my necessities to a location three hours away. Now you might say, "Three hours away is not far", "You can always drive back to see your family and friends". But my instant life change created a bump in the road for me.
I tried my hardest to convince myself that the opportunity would be fun. I would live on my own for the first time in my life. No children, no relationship, no responsibilities other than my own, and could come and go as I pleased. Fun, right? I did okay for the first few weeks. Got totally involved with my new job (learning kept me content), loved the new experience of the city, walked to the grocery store when I wanted something to eat (a convenience I didn't have in my previous life), and went out exploring. But as time went on I found it very difficult to deal with returning to an empty apartment, not having anyone to talk to, not having any friends, and the hardest one to deal with, sleeping alone.

I began suppressing my emotions and feelings. Stuffing them back into myself to create my own loneliness, my own depression, my own fear. I broke off the relationship of seven years because I didn't think it was fair to drag him into my insecure crazy life. When I noticed the depressing feelings sneaking up on me I then decided to take the weekends and drive back to my life-long home. Stay there for the weekend and that should give me enough energy to get through the work week until another drive back on the weekend came along. My drives back and forth created a bonding friendship with someone that has always been dear to me. Then my work weeks turned into a "missing you" issue and I couldn't wait for that drive back home. I didn't realize what I was doing to myself. I was creating my own misery. My own insanity. My own problems. Which created even more suppressing emotions and feelings. I HAVE TO STOP!!

So today, instead of running, I have decided to make some changes. I am going to try and follow Mastin's system and give up the chase. I am going to live day to day and not rush tomorrow. I am going to breathe, and I even ordered "The Crazy Sexy Diet" that Mastin suggested.

To get the full gist of the message you have visit Mastin.  

Born Again

Okay fingers....here we go again. You are going to be my link from my mind, to the key pad, and onto this computer screen.
I really need to pen my thoughts today because my mind is racing in so many different directions. I need to get all these thoughts into order. Some of you may not like what I'm penning about today, but you can always close this tab and go about your regular daily lives.
I usually attend church on Sundays, just for my own cleansing, and it usually helps me get through the six days ahead. But the sermon on Sunday really made me question my spirituality.
Am I a true believer of God, Jesus, the Christ? Or am I more in tune with the Universe?
That is the question that is causing ruckus in my mind.
As I was doing research on "Born Again" I came across the word Pantheism. Pantheism is a religion old or new, that stresses the magnificence of the universe as revealed by modern science. Pantheism might be able to draw forth reserves of reverence and awe hardly tapped by the conventional faiths. And a quote from Carl Sagan, Pale Blue Dot (1994), "Such a religion WILL emerge."
And then as I continued reading, the question, "Are you a Pantheist?" emerged. Of course I had to keep on reading after that question was thrown in my face.

If you answer yes to all these questions, then you might have pantheistic leanings.....

When you look at the night sky or at the images of the Hubble Space Telescope, are you filled with a feeling of awe and wonder at the overwhelming beauty and power of the universe?    Yes


When you are in the midst of nature, in a forest, by the sea, on a mountain peak - do you ever feel a sense of the sacred, like the feeling of being in a vast cathedral?    Yes

Do you believe that humans should be a part of Nature, rather than set above it?    Yes


I am not skeptical of God, I do know that, because there had to be a creator. Correct?

Every evening I step outside when it's just turning dark enough to show the stars and the moon. I feel such an overwhelming peace and my discussions feel so much more fulfilled then during the day. The nighttime universe feels like a temple to me. My spirituality is more free.

So, what does it mean to be BORN AGAIN?

The context of the question comes from the following verses in the gospel of John:

"There was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews. This man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, 'Rabbi, we know that You are a teacher come from God; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.'


Jesus answered and said to him, 'Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is BORN AGAIN, he cannot see the kingdom of God.'


Nicodemus said to Him, 'How can a man be born when his old? Can he enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born?'


Jesus answered, 'Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.


Do not marvel that I said to you, 'YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN.' The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear the sound of it, but cannot tell where it comes from and where it goes. So is everyone who is born of Spirit.'" (John 3:1-8, NKJV)

See, this is what is so confusing. Jesus speaks of the Universe as far as being born of the water and the Spirit. He also talks about the wind. You can't see the wind, but you can feel it. That is your spirituality. But the spirit and the words BORN AGAIN can mean so many things. There have been so many times in my life where I have felt BORN AGAIN, but not in a religious form. However, in a spiritual form, my own personal feelings of my heart being cleansed. To me being born again can mean change, any change. For example, my current relationship. In the beginning of my relationship I felt like I had a long row to hoe, but things came together in a way that is un-explainable. In this relationship I feel new, I feel with a new heart, I am more loving (and so is he), more caring, and more gentle. This relationship has caused me to forget about my terrible past, and only focus on what is ahead of me, or right in front of my face. The relationship has touched my spirit, my heart, and my emotions.
Another form of being BORN AGAIN in my life is the opportunity of being able to attend college. A change, a new beginning, and creating the path to make things better. This opportunity has touched my spirit, my heart, and my emotions.

The words TO BE BORN AGAIN are very strong, and people interpret those words in different ways. My interpretation of those words, they simply mean to cleanse yourself, cleanse your inner self. To be born again does not mean to reenter your mother's womb. That would be silly. The inner cleanse is to free yourself of troubles, start over, produce a brand new heart. That is what BORN AGAIN means to me.
And if I feel born again by standing in the Universe, breathing, having discussions about direction, listening to the wind, and cleansing my heart, then so be it.

In John 3 there are three births discussed:

1. Born of the flesh (my mother)
2. Born of water (baptized)
3. Born of spirit (MY spirit, MY cleansing, MY imagined wanderlust, MY life direction)

When you are standing in nature (the universe) and come across a gorgeous scene such as this, how do you feel? How does the beauty touch your heart? Is it breathtaking? Do you feel like you are right in the presence of God, the creator himself? Directly in the center of the Universe?
This is my temple, this is my peace, this is my spirit, this is how I cleanse myself, this is how I'm BORN AGAIN.

Thank you for taking the time to read my penning thoughts. And please feel free to comment. Everyone has their own opinion, and those opinions are what make our universe so appealing, so unique, and so inspiring.

Jealousy

Jealousy - We all go through it sometimes in our lives, and we all deal with it sometimes in our lives. Jealousy is a wicked emotion to overcome. It is almost like a disease.

As I was doing research on the subject of jealousy,  almost every article I read was based on jealousy in a relationship. But jealousy goes beyond relationships. The green eye of jealousy can be found between any two people. For instance, a mother and step-mother (that is where the jealousy is found in my life). Oh it's not me that's the jealous one, it's the step-mother. She worries and frets over everything that I do, and then she says nasty things to my children about me because it makes her feel better about herself. But I consider myself the bigger person. I have a control over my emotions and thoughts, and I don't have a low self-esteem issue.  Jealousy is a disease that takes total control of a person's emotions and thoughts.

Just a couple weeks ago I was feeling the pangs of jealousy (in my relationship), but the pangs I was feeling had more to do with insecurity. Which jealousy and insecurity go hand in hand. I don't like myself very well when the insecurity emotion takes me over. I have to do a lot of talking to myself to fix the interrupted emotion of doubt, fear, and insecurity. I have to talk myself right out of it. I call myself "stupid" a lot when I let these foolish emotions take me over. I am not, I totally refuse, will not let it happen; allow jealousy in my life. Me and jealousy do not go well together.

So, how does a person overcome jealousy? Overcoming jealousy is like changing any personal behavior. It all begins with awareness. Which, awareness will allow a person to see that the proposed stories in their mind are not true. When a person gets this clarity under control they no longer react to scenarios that their mind imagines. Yes, jealousy plays on a person's imagination. Jealousy and anger are emotions that causes a person to believe what they imagine. By changing beliefs, a person will change what they imagine. It's kind of like placing positives in a situation that has doubts. Find the good in something bad. Does that make sense?

Trying to change anger and jealousy is like trying to control a car that is skidding on ice. A person's life will improve immensely if they steer clear of the hazard before they get there. The step-mother in my life imagines and assumes that I am a terrible mother and grandmother without gathering facts or understanding of my actions, schedule, or values.

I found this information on the Pathway to Happiness Web site:

The steps to permanently end jealous reactions are: 
1) Recovering personal power so that you can get control of your emotions and refrain from the reactive behavior. 
2) Shift your point of view so that you can step back from the story in your mind. This will give you a gap of time in which to refrain from a jealous or angry reaction and do something else. 
3) Identify the core beliefs that trigger the emotional reaction. 
4) Become aware that the beliefs in your mind are not true. This is different than “knowing” intellectually that the stories are not true. 
5) Develop control over your attention so you can consciously choose what story plays in your mind and what emotions you feel.  

That is some pretty good advise right there.

Throughout my life (more recently) I have gotten a handle on my imagination. I understand that my children and grand children have other family in their lives. Do I let that upset me? NO. Do I create unnecessary stories and issues about what the other family members are doing with my children and grand children? NO. Do I find blame and create scenarios because I don't want my children or grand children with the other family? NO. So, why is this step-mother so dead-set on making me look like a bad mother?

For the last four years I have been attending college. And anyone who has attended college full time knows how much time and dedication that takes. The step-mother assumes that I am a bad mother and grandmother because I don't go to my children and grand children's  school events. Maybe I should hand her my school schedule and have her help me out with ideas on how I can attend school activities?

Believe me, I am facing the feeling of regret when it comes to my children and grandchildren's school activities. What busy mother wouldn't?

And if the wicked step-mother reads this:

My school schedule (during the school months) consisted of four days a week at school....Tues. 9:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m., Thurs. 9:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m., Fri. 6:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m., Sat. 1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. And in between I did homework.....  

Does this clear up the imagination a little bit? It's best to gather facts before assuming false information,  and ridiculing someone for things you don't understand. 

   

Humiliation

It's been a long time folks.

Did you think I gave up on this blog?

One thing that you will find out about me, I am not a quitter!

I have had a really stressful semester. In just 15 days I will be able to put all this school stuff behind me. Don't get me wrong, I will never forget it, and I will always apply what I have learned, but I am looking forward to not having to think so hard. And knowing my luck, I will probably land a job that requires mental application.....SHSHSH!! Did I just write that out loud?

I came here today to vent. So, if you want to put up with me for a few minutes, and maybe soothe my emotions, continue reading. If not, just click that tiny X in the top right hand corner of your screen.

Have you ever been so humiliated, to the point where you just can't face the people in front of you?

That is what I came here to pen about today.

Humiliation hurts!

Humiliation makes you feel singled out, insulted, ego crushed, pride hurt, makes you feel powerless, diminished, and sometimes mad as hell!

There are nine different definitions for humiliation. Did you know that? Me either. But I am going to list them for you:

1. Feeling disrespected.

2. A loss of stature or image.

3. An image change reflecting a decrease in what others believe about your stature.

4. Induced shame.

5. To reduce the pride or fail to recognize the dignity of another.

6. An event perceived to cause loss of honor and induce shame.

7. Feeling powerless.

8. Being unjustly forced into a degrading position.

9. Ridicule, scorn, contempt, or other treatment at the hands of others.

That list pretty much covers all the feelings that a person goes through when they have just been humiliated.

I don't feel the pangs of humiliation often, but when I do, I feel like the walls close in to trap me, a huge spotlight has just been single-shot directly on me, and when I look at the people in front of me they are all laughing. All of those feelings, I'm sure, are just mind games that increase the feeling of humiliation even more.

I was humiliated in speech class right before I was to present my speech. Fighting the feelings of humiliation, finding the strength to get through my speech, and telling myself that I'm a strong person just made my self-esteem disintegrate. I made it half way through my speech, trying hard to concentrate, stumbling over my notes, forgetting what I had to say, before I broke down in tears and ran out of the classroom. And I was mad as hell!! My professional instructor is purposefully affecting my grade because his teaching technique causes humiliation, is what I was thinking.

But humiliation does not stand alone. Right beside humiliation is shame. I now have to find the courage to return to that class and present my final speech. Simply put, shame is private, where humiliation is public. Humiliation is suffering and insult. If you judge the insult to be credible, then you feel shame. A person only feels shame if their self-image is reduced; and that requires a person's own assessment and decision. A person who is insecure about their genuine stature is more prone to feeling shame as a result of humiliation. Therefore, that is why I cried for three days straight. My fragile self-esteem was bruised. I did everything in my power to get over the shame feeling, and my eyes were so swollen that I couldn't even apply make-up. Yup, I was mad as hell!

Thus, how do I resolve this humiliation and shame feeling? Victims of humiliation may be able to achieve resolution through either of two paths. The first is to reappraise the humiliating experience in some way that acknowledges the victim's strength and ability to cope with a difficult situation. This approach increases self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence, and diminishes the fear of humiliation.

The second path is to leave the degrading environment and find a more grateful environment.

I am one tough cookie! I'm going to choose the first path. For one reason the situation is school related. I have not dedicated myself to college for the last four years to have it all come crashing down now. I am going to pick myself up and return to that class to blow the audience out of their seats and present the best damn speech they have ever seen, or heard.

As you have just read my penning thoughts, what do you think is the best way to overcome humiliation? Face it head-on, or run and hide?

Believe me, the urge to run and hide really did cross my mind. But if we do run and hide, the person that did the humiliating wins. And I don't know about you, but I really hate to lose.....

Don't let humiliation take the upper hand. Crush it! Stomp on it! And fight back appropriately. Guaranteed, you will feel better in the end.

Living Blind

Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it. – Proverbs 8:33

"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
- Marcus Aurelius

I would like to spend some time today introducing you to my dear friend Lynda. It's been a few years since I have attended high school. Okay, 25 years to be exact (let's keep that a secret). Shortly after graduating from high school I took up a full time job at an automotive factory in my area. The factory is where I met Lynda. We were both the same age, indestructible, rebels, and "no one can touch this" type of chicks. We walked into a friendship where we automatically clicked. Since we were young and indestructible we decided to make ourselves a permanent team. Yeah, we decided to rent an apartment together. Can you just imagine two young females living in the same apartment? I don't think there was ever a quiet night, especially since we worked 2nd shift.

But to tell you a little about Lynda.... when she was very young she was diagnosed with one of the most common and deadly diseases that we know of today. Diabetes! Daily insulin shots were a norm for her when we were living together. I worried about her a lot and did everything I could to help her.

Well, as life goes, we spent a year together inseparable in that party apartment, had tons of good times, got involved in our own relationships with men, got busy (married), and we just kind of drifted apart. Went our own separate ways living our own lives without each other.

But let's go back to the high school age again....When I was in high school it was a time of clicks, bullying, "I am better than you" attitudes, "you are different so you don't belong here, and I'm going to make your school hours miserable" attempts, etc.... I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

When I left high school the door was shut on that part of my life, with the hopes of never reopening it. Twenty-five years later I am attending college. Something that I never thought I would be doing in my lifetime. And as I started my classes at the local college in my area, who do you think I ran into? Yup, Lynda!! My long lost friend that I have been missing so badly over the years. Lynda's major is social work, but you are going to be amazed the farther down you read. In my eyes, Lynda is the most courageous, strong willed, and goal determined person I know. I really truly admire her.

Okay, wait a minute, as I look at Lynda there is something very different about her. She is not the same person I lived with years ago. She is walking different, depends heavily on her friends, has a very special friend by her side at all times, carries a lap top computer with an ear piece wherever she goes on campus, and wears dark glasses all the time.....

Lynda is totally BLIND (diabetes)!

Lynda is the second vision impaired person to attend this college campus with a service dog (seeing eye dog). And as I get reacquainted with Lynda, and catch up on our lives, that high school closed door comes flying open right in my face.....College students are suppose to be adults, act like adults, and present themselves as adults. One of Lynda's COLLEGE classmates is giving her a hard time about her service dog, how Lynda treats her, and having the dog in class. This classmate has complained time and time again to the instructor. Since the adult college student is a tattle-tail and can't approach Lynda as an adult her/him self, the instructor feels that something needs to be done. The instructor finds time to talk to Lynda about this complaining classmate. Which ends in tears for Lynda.

This is what I am thinking: The classmate may be uncomfortable with Lynda's disability? Maybe this classmate doesn't like dogs? What if she/he just doesn't want Lynda there and is doing everything he/she can to scare Lynda away? Does the college need to educate the students on disabilities and service animals to help them better understand?

What I know about a service animal from research:

A service animal's mission is to enhance the independence, dignity, and self-confidence of blind people through the use of their own eyes and judgments.

After a service dog's eighteen month age, they will begin a four month training course. The training course consists of:

· Respond to basic obedience commands

· Pull wearing a harness

· Lead in harness through neighborhoods, traffic, stop lights, and crosswalks

· Understand and carry out the concept of intelligent disobedience.

Intelligent disobedience is knowing when to accept a command from their master and when to over-ride that command using their own judgment.

A lot of work goes into training a service dog, and that classmate of Lynda's needs to realize that the service dog (Marley) is at work when Lynda is in school. When Marley is working she is no longer a pet, she is Lynda's eyes.

"Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

One very important piece of information to pass along.....never, never, never touch, feed, or coax a service dog. Never speak to them either. They are suppose to be concentrating on their job, and if they are distracted by you they could cause harm to their blind master.

I am part of Lynda's (eyes) transportation to and from the college campus. Marley knows who I am when she sees me, but I never speak to her while she's working. I wait until we are in the car, and then it's hugs and kisses and treats......

I am so glad that Lynda and I have reconnected. What an inspiration she is.....